Trump Supporters Are the Biggest Fucktards

Disclaimer #1: ALL Politicians suck. If you are a business man who becomes president then you ARE a politician (Trump). Ya basically just changed jobs. Republican’s suck and Democrats suck. Every President makes mistakes, sometimes shit just doesn’t work out the way it was intended. You can nit pick at every single President we have ever had.

Disclaimer #2 – I fucking HATE Politics. I have always hated it. I refused to express opinions in the past and would shut my spouse down sometimes because I didn’t want to even hear about it. I thought of it as a necessary evil. I still do. But never again will allow myself to avoid it. One Trump term was one too many. And right now the Republican party belongs to him. This all being said…

I hate Donald Trump and I hate his fucktard followers even more. If it’s not obvious to you why, or if that comment offends you… then you are a part of the Fucktard Cult.

Instead of complaining or even trying to teach fucktards in this post I am just going to state some obvious facts and general comments.

A family member on Facebook one day posted a family photo of the Trumps and stated what a wonderful beautiful family they are. I was tempted to show her the family photos taken at the Playboy Mansion since she is all into Jesus and Religious. But I maintained control of myself.

If you are angry because of the “Black Lives Matter” movement then you are not just a fucktard but also a racist. And if you want to say oh that movement caused violence then you should also agree that the “Hillbilly Rebel Flag MAGA Jackasses” who stormed the capital are exactly the same.

In case you did not know Trump has a shit ton of law suits. The state of New York is going after him for FRAUD.

MAGA people all seem to need to retake their Civic class and to stop getting so angry at people who suggest they do a fact check.

Fox News was built to entertain fucktards. Republicans bitch about “Liberal Media” constantly. Yet they do not want to check various sources of media and stick with their narrow view. Personally, I will flip on Fox News, I just cannot handle the ignorance for too long without throwing up in my mouth a little bit.

The recent Russian Hack that fucked with the pipelines… oh what a hoot that was on Facebook aka Fucktard Book. I saw several idiots ranting about how Bidden was to blame for gas prices going up. If you had done your research you’d know that Cyber Security went downhill when Trump was in office and the US was hacked MULTIPLE TIMES. You’d also know that once he LOST the election he fired people in Cyber Security intentionally to create problems. He left office thankfully but he set things up to have problems across the board for the next administration.

Trump speaks like a fucktard. He does not sound intelligent. He never sounded Presidential, and his favorite method of communication was a social media platform. These are all signs of a loser.

For nearly 8 years Trump harassed Obama about his birth certificate. He ended up being wrong about it and this was proven.

Trump also harassed Rosie O’Donnell for years. I don’t actually care for her, but when a man starts a fight with a woman and insults her weight…. I do typically assume he’s a bully. Kind of a no-brainer there.

Trump has not been in a church for years (the church he claims he belongs to has said this), and he cannot quote the bible. He’s been asked to. He’s been asked his favorite bible quote. But he can’t or won’t respond. The dude is only using “Christians” and is lying.

I’ve noticed that some of my family members who are the loud type of Trump supporter only ever post memes on facebook. In other words, they don’t post an “opinion” or even a “fact”. They don’t post “News”. They post stupid opinions of OTHER people because they cannot develop their own. My favorite is also the “copy and paste this message if you agree” shit. One dickhead expresses their opinion and in order to gain followers and new friends they ask it to be shared. These dummies do it because they agree with the post but often they don’t even understand what any of it means.

Gun control is NOT about taking your guns away. It’s about controlling who gets guns, how fast they can get a gun, taking classes on safety etc. If you, like Ted Nugent, think it’s more than that then you should speak to your doctor about new medications…. ya fucktard

Some of my favorite stupid Republican comments/theories in the last year:

Covid was “fake” on some level of which they often changed. Yes. Democrats got together and convinced the entire WORLD to play along with a lie and fake deaths just to fool Republican people. Yes, India stacked a ton of dead bodies up in photos to help this along. World leaders contracted Covid, celebrities, and many elderly people all were a part of this. 800,000 people died. STFP you fucktards. This is the dumbest thing ever.

The election was stolen. First off let’s state the fact that Trump has always been a loser. He’s been a loser in marriages because this one is his 3rd. He’s gone bankrupt, like a loser in business. There is no proof the election was stolen. NONE. Oh sure there are memes these fucktards share of photos etc. But they are not real. There is not a shred of evidence. A shred!!! Meanwhile Florida and Texas are the absolute worst states who are changing laws to make voting MORE difficult so they can try to steal the next election.

Biden is a socialist who will defund the police. HAHAHAHAHAHA. FUCKTARDED. We need police, duh. But should we allow them to be above the law? Do we permit them to murder people who resist arrest even IF they ARE guilty? Police are not Stormtroopers you idiots. They need better training so that when you grind a man down into concrete with your knee and he passes out.. you would know it’s safe to get off of them. The whole socialist thing is hilarious because it’s stupid. Biden is a very moderate democrat and has a long track record of working very well with Republicans.

The vaccine is dangerous and you can trust the government for pushing it on us. Did you get your kids vaccines for polio, measles, mumps? Or are you one of those lunatics who doesn’t and let’s your child die?

I could go on but why? You can’t fix stupid right?

Biden’s ok. He wouldn’t have been my first choice. I love Kamala’s personality as she is a Queen. But literally ANYONE would do a better job than Trump. My dog, who is not the brightest, could do better.

Try to name 20 positive things Trump did in office that really benefitted the country without alienating a group of citizens or doing damage with another country. There are a few things he did I do agree with, but very little. But he ran the country like it was The Apprentice. Not like a country with different cultures, genders, sexualities, lifestyles, or even different thoughts.

Again, this post will piss off the fucktards. So please send us your half assed emails to post on the blog! We don’t care about what a fucktard thinks. If they think at all.

Stupid Reader Email

Sometimes people send us an email. A few in the past have been valid, maybe catching something that just didn’t read well in a post. We have touched up those little errors.

Sometimes really dumb people email us too. We call those people FUCKTARDS and we dedicated this website to them years ago.  We recently got a message! Enjoy the stupidity, misspellings, and lack of cohesive sentences. We think this ninny took the descriptive VERY personally…. we don’t wonder why.

Lesson: If you ever feel compelled to send an email to someone you do not know on the internet in order to judge them, critique their work, or just add your 2 cents….. please try to have some actual sense.  And be brave enough to use your name and real email address. WIMP.

Love from all of us at FucktardRants XOXOXOXOX

Name: Fucktard

Comment: you are a fucktard. Don’t get me wrong but i actually visited your page by mistake while googling and just wanted to say that you seem so shallow, idiotic and a blond teenage girl who likes just to talk about the little details that happen in your life i don’t know you but just wanted to say fuck you and all people like you. fucking fucktard get a life and don’t act so clever. Bitch.(and sorry for my language but well i hate all living creatures like you who thinks they are so intelligent. i bet you think everyone likes you but behind your back your the laugh of the night no one wants to be with you or invite you but you still act like your needed in planet earth.Know what this is such beautiful paragraph i wrote, i’ll copy it and send it to every wannabe clever fella i see, peace asshole.

Time: March 5, 2015 at 12:36 am

IP Address: 2.51.27.194

Second email sent about 20 min later.

Comment: After a second thought as i go through your rants i believe that, while your so desperate to make your life worth living. I feel pity for the humans the have to deal with your shit on daily basis. Well trust me no one loves you or give a shit about you. You may think your smart, intelligent and so on but as reading on i actually had fun as well enraged by how come such immature person like you works a decent job. Well enjoy your life ranting or hating your own life don’t know but sure your writing was fun. Bitch.

Internet Forums are For Lonely People on Medication

Do you get from my title that I hate message boards? Ok good. Do you get from my title that the medications I mean are supposed to cure “the crazies”? OK figured you didn’t fucktard… let me explain.

People who hang out all damn day on the internet posting to message boards and forums tend not to have the following in their life:

A Job
Friends
Families that rely on them to provide
Other family members that still want to talk to them

Let me give you my favorite example to back this up. Internet Movie Database is a site I love because I love movies. I am on that site at least once per week or more. Usually, I am looking up a movie or an actor etc and sometimes it’s for stupid reasons such as “I know I recognize that guy” shit. I love that site.

It’s the message boards I hate at imdb.com. Every movie, show, and actor has a bunch of lame dumbasses posting their loser opinions on stuff their either know nothing about (but want you to think they do) or it’s full of trolling drooling bored fucktards. Almost every message board on that site has some dickweed troll posting that something “sucks” just to irritate the fans. Then the fans go off onto why their opinion is so fabulous, which is almost as lame as the troll’s nonsense. Even the so-called fans are negative and feel the urge to explain why. Flame wars go on, posts are deleted, user accounts are banned, and not a damn constructive thing happens. In essence, it is like watching a kindergarten class without a teacher.

I once got into a “debate” at these forums quite a while ago. Sometimes a fucktard can suck you into their stupid world. After one post… I proceeded to look up the profile of the jackass who picked my post apart for literally no reason. I looked at all the different forums they posted to, noted the times of day and the days per week. It was so obvious that they made a whole life out of posting all day long, every day, and picking snitty little arguments with anyone new who posted. In 5 minutes I figured out that this person clearly had nothing better to do.

It’s just not mentally healthy to try and be a part of an anonymous community and spout off how much (or little) you know on a daily basis. It’s not mentally healthy to take a stupid post so personally, or to defend some actor/actress that you don’t know. Frankly – it’s WEIRD. If you disagree…. then brag about it to some of your real time friends… if you got any. They will look ay you the same way I do.

If what I am describing is familiar to you, or worse… describes you, please see your doctor right away to tell him that the meds are not fucking working because you are STILL annoying the rest of humanity.

Crazy is as Crazy Does

I am annoyed by the Michael Jackson situation. I’m not a fan at all but I see the value of his past work.  While I am into watching some of the dramas unfold on TV – I am annoyed by the rush of worship from fucktards.

Michael Jackson had been more or less forgotten over the last few years, and when he died people suddenly said: “oh yeah forgot about him”. Some fucktards that are carrying on do not even remember him at the height of fame, some were not even born. Suddenly he becomes a saint. I hate that frickin’ attitude.

Here are the facts  for the fucktards:

Michael Jackson made a MAJOR contribution to music and even a bigger one to music videos.  He deserves credit for it.

The term “King of Pop” was given to Michael Jackson … from himself. He gave himself that name. Sort of like any other lunatic might do. Charles Manson dubbed himself Jesus, but we all knew THAT was crazy.

Since the 90’s we kind of know now that he has been a drug addict. Not just any drug, he was using a frickin’ anesthesia…. He wanted to be literally UNCONCIOUS. He was looking for a way to completely avoid life. This was not medication for pain… this was medicating himself to avoid life. Is it sad someone would go to this extreme? Of course, it is… but it clearly shows how fucked up he was.

A drug addict… does NOT make a good parent. The very way he came to have these children is sketchy and weird. Now, the children clearly love him, as all children love their parents. Even abused children love their parents… but this does not show or mean that he was a good one. Mark my words, these kids will be royally screwed up from his parenting style, his drug abuse, and obviously his death due to his own obsessions. Not a good parent IMO. And oh, most likely the drugs played a part in him dangling the baby over the railing too. Yeah… dad of the year.

Joe Jackson seems like a true jack off and I believe that he beat the kids. However, that is not a free ticket to use as an excuse. Many children survived living through the Holocaust and turned out to be productive members of society, and even gone the route to educate others. Many children suffered in the Depression era and lost out on their childhoods too but overcame this obstacle and lived a normal life. Many children have been abused and grew up to break the cycle without whining over it constantly. These excuses for Michael Jackson’s behavior are nothing BUT excuses.

The media abused him too… wah wah. First off, being any sort of celebrity opens the door to media scrutiny. Right or wrong… it IS what it IS and we all know it exists. Meanwhile, plenty of other celebrities have managed to survive fame. Furthermore, many more over the years have managed to have a pretty normal life. There is a difference between being a media whore and just being famous. The media did not torture this man… this man put his crazy life on display for them, and us.

Michael Jackson did a special interview with Martin Bashir for a documentary called “Living with Michael Jackson” allowed us more of a glimpse into his life and what we found out was plainly obvious… he was nuts. He lied about the surgeries. Does everyone not see this? Ok, perhaps that is his business and not ours… but why not just say that, or perhaps not open yourself up in such a way to be asked. That interview shows a clearly screwed up person who set himself up to more child abuse allegations.

And of course, we have the child abuse allegations and trial. Michael was ACQUITTED of the charges which means we have to remember that, but the whole thing reeks of a self-created mess. The first set of allegations were a real shock and frankly, I did have some sympathy for him at the time. What disturbs me is that the dummy repeated the same fucking mistake. Why didn’t he learn NOT to have children sleep in the same bed with him after the first problem? The trial would never have happened had Michael Jackson conducted himself with common sense. There was some sort of selfish need in him to do it all over again and he brought it all on to himself with it. Anyone who touches a red hot burner on the stove once… usually, learns not to do it again. Why didn’t he? Some of his actions during the trial clearly show an addict.

Then we have the weird childlike personality. Not normal and displays a sickness to me. If that was someone I knew in real life… I’d be suggesting therapy or contacting the hospital to have them committed. He was robotic, stoned, or something most of the time after the 90’s. I hate the excuse of “he was innocent like a child”. I dunno…. I call that kind of creepy.

Can we please stop carrying on over a creepy drug addict psycho? He had all the money in the world to fix himself if there were problems. I don’t feel that the world has been robbed of an ‘artist”… just another “entertainer” who was more screwed up than any average schlub.

Let me just say that I do feel for his family and his children. There are many reasons to feel bad beyond his early death. I also feel bad for his family that he carried around a big bucket full of crazy with him. He did a lot of charity work and donations… those things I respect. But not his crazy shit.

Twittering Twits, I Hate Twitter

Ok so once it was Myspace, then it was Facebook, and now it’s Twitter as the big hot thing. The one common denominator in all 3 things…. Fucktards. Yes, it is true. I went to the doctor the other day and had to wait on the stupid secretary to take my co-pay and give me a receipt… because she was busy TWITTERING.

Twitter is such a testament to our disastrous fucktard times… “let me tell everyone how important I am and all of the stupid mundane shit I do”. It’s a social network for people who have nothing better to do, and desperately need friends… but can’t socialize in reality. Nobody with any intelligence cares if your weather is nice, or what you cooked for dinner, dummies.

Now you also have celebrities twittering away too. For instance, we have Mr. Twit Popularity Ashton Kutcher and his wife on there daily. I’ve looked, all day long those two sit on their accounts telling the even lamer fans their every move, and how many important people they know. Wonder when they talk to one another?… if at all. And if Oprah’s television show was not self-indulgent enough… we can now read her tweets about dinner dates with other celebs. Wow. Who gives a shit?

Are we really this childish? Do we not know how to communicate our messages to the world in another way? Do people actually care? If so, WHY? Is this the reason we created technology? Do we need this much constant attention?

The only people who use Twitter are either… spammers, narcissists, or boring fucktards. See, some fucktards CAN be entertaining… but in this case, it’s one big yawn.

Asking for Donations on Your Blog or Website

Blogging, podcasting, websites… whatever it is on the net… people are doing and posting shit all about themselves. Now, there are people who post useful and informative, even educational information. We are all or should be, thankful to them. But the thing that has been pissing me off lately are the jack offs asking for DONATIONS on their blog or website.

OK a long time ago “affiliate programs” were invented.  Therefore, when you see that Amazon banner on this site for instance… it means we get a small cut if you buy what we’re promoting. Anyone not know this? Oh… I forgot we have fucktards in the world. Many sites/blogs use an affiliate program in effect to support the costs of having a site. You typically find “google ads” or Amazon for that purpose. But of course ads plastered everywhere is annoying, and asking for flipping donations is kind of desperate. It was YOU who made the choice to get a website… not the world because we were just dying to hear from you.

This site used as an example is a website created for OUR own fun. If other people read it then cool. If not, then we still get to rant and bitch about the stupid assholes in the world sucking up all of our air. This makes us feel better and prevents us from causing the bodily harm to fucktards like we daydream about. Ads aren’t plastered everywhere because the goal isn’t to make shitloads of money.

Over the years I am seeing more “Donation” button/links on websites. Which means some dipshit thinks you are dumb enough to donate money to them to support their need to blog or build a website about themselves. Most often they don’t care if they have nothing to say, or even if they are running some sad business. They feel entitled to ask people to give them money by displaying a donation button or link.

Um isn’t that really called PAN HANDLING? I mean, I sure think it is. The worst is when you see it on a commercial site who already is using affiliates to make money or charging for some service they provide. Yet they want your money desperately enough to also BEG for it too.  See, the word DONATION works in a positive way for The Red Cross, Animal Shelters, Agencies for Children, Cancer Foundations etc. There are real and genuine “CAUSES” there though.  Donation, as defined pretty clearly on Wikipedia means… a gift given, typically to a cause or/and for charitable purposes. A donation may take various forms, including cash, services, new or used goods as i.e. clothing, toys, food, vehicles, emergency or humanitarian aid items, and can also relate to medical care needs as i.e. blood or organs for transplant. Charitable gifts of goods or services are also called gifts in kind. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donation

Your stupid blog or website is not a “cause” and has probably very little “purpose” to the world. The average moron using a blog doesn’t really deserve a donation. If you believe your life mission is to help people and you can find a way to charge them for it then we call the ENTERPRIZE, baby.  But it isn’t a charity…. Though you might be a “charity case”. What I mean is that if you are a business of any sort (not a charity or non-profit agency)  asking for donations then you are pathetic too.

Asking for donations on your website without a genuine “cause” IMO is tacky and classless. If you have a business and your clients want to give you holiday gifts then let them. Let them ask you where to send it or how they can do it. But for Christ’s sake… don’t advertise that you WANT them to do it…..loser. Show some CLASS. Poor and lazy people beg, not people who can earn their own living.

If any morons out there feel that this site has taught them some manners, has made them laugh, or inspired them in some warped way… and you strongly feel the urge to =do something.…. Email us a compliment. Subscribe to the blog. That’s enough. Our “cause” on this fucking site is our OWN self-indulgence…. And it doesn’t need to be financed by anyone other than ourselves.

Do yourself a real favor, don’t give your hard-earned money to the LAZY. Donate it to a real cause instead.

Politics Obama and Bullshit

First my disclaimer: I am not into politics. I know enough to get by, and to carry on a conversation. I do avoid the topic with literally everyone because people can get so passionate about their own views… that they can turn into an asshole. I try to avoid assholes most of the time.

Now my rant.

I was sick to death of the political campaigning. I thought on election day it would be done for a bit. But no. Many fucktards voted again, for the first time etc. I am sick of hearing about Barrack Obama crap…. like what type of dog he will get and the like. I cannot believe we are THIS infantile, but we are.

I voted for Obama, not because I think he is the messiah… but he was the lesser of two evils. Liking him better than the other guy doesn’t mean I liked him a lot, or even think he can CHANGE much. This is the government after all, and that means it rarely makes ANY big changes to anything very quickly. Um, we have fucking laws in the books that were written when the frickin country began for gods sakes and some are ridiculous but have not changed at all. The CHANGE platform is a load of bullshit. Wake up fucktards.

I am very hopeful. I think Obama is a great Motivator and Speaker… and this country sure does need some inspiration as we go through the worst economic situation we have seen in a loooooong time. I also have high hopes because Abraham Lincoln had very little experience in politics and yet that turned out to make him a pretty great president. I am keeping an open mind and hoping for the best.

But can we fucking stop acting like this CHANGE shit is gonna happen tomorrow? It’s not. I PROMISE you that. With the little knowledge of government that I have… I know it takes a long time to make a difference. People are literally dancing around and all excited. Um… dummies…. You might wanna settle your shit down. The man is not even IN office yet.

Did you ever interview for the perfect sounding job and left knowing they were going to hire you? So you start the job and on day one… literally, everything is a mess and you come to find out quickly that everyone expects you to be the one to fix it all, like pronto. If it’s familiar to you… how’d it turn out? What if it was a job that you were not totally qualified for? Did you have a ton of shit to LEARN? Didn’t some of your grand notions FAIL because once you dug deeper you could see some things were literally impossible to do or that some goals could not be met? That my dear fucktards is called REALITY.

There is still a 50/50 chance that all the imaginary CHANGE won’t be so great. Yep, I said it. Obama might fuck up. He may get into his position and see that HE was WRONG about a few things. Or things could be delayed, changed again, need to be altered etc. This is all far more plausible then change coming for the better right away.

But stupid people can vote. Change sounded seductive, and idiots always fall for it easily. These same dummies will turn on Obama the minute one of his promises fall through, or when it doesn’t all happen fast enough for them.

The way the media has treated the whole thing continues to keep these intellectually challenged fuckwads…all uppity and shit too. Fucking Oprah whooooing like a moron made me want to yack. Yes, change CAN be for the better… but sometimes it goes the opposite way too. Take a look at your own dumb life and know it’s true.

I just hope we can all still feel good and whoooo when the perfect world is not created. I hope the very soon to be President Barrack Obama has much success. I really do.

 

Rampant Stupidity at the DMV

It is that time again for me to go to my local Department of Motor Vehicles location and get my new driver’s license photo taken. Everyone hates this, that’s no shock. What did shock me it the rampant stupidity I saw in ONE location and all in one hour’s worth of time. I can only share a few tidbits, otherwise, I’d have to write a book.

First, let’s get this straight. You walk in, the first thing in your face is the SIGN that tells you exactly what to do. The office is divided into two parts…. Half of the people taking their drivers test and the other half is for people who just need to obtain a new drivers license. Sounds simple enough. All you have to do is go to the machine which is DIRECTLY under the big sign that’s in your face… and take a ticket with a number. Now here is the tricky part. You have to actually read this sign. It tells you what button to push to get the right ticket. It has two buttons… they plainly describe the sections… it’s either your new photo license or your driver’s test. The buttons are even different colors so you can’t really fuck up…. if you have a brain.

All you have to do is read the sign, press the button that applies to what you are there for, and a ticket with a number pops out. When they call your number… you walk up to the window. Not rocket science.

I have NEVER seen so many idiots in all my life. Nothing has changed in this process since the last time I had to do it. I walked in, got my ticket, and sat down within 3 minutes or less.

I heard moron after moron come in… and not know what the fuck to do. They stood there are STARED at the sign… yet nothing sunk in. They would ask someone… “Do I need to get a ticket?” YES, FUCKTARD… that’s what the PLAIN and SIMPLE sign says to do. Can you not follow simple directions?

I have also noticed something else… the dumber they are… the LOUDER they are too. OMG, I had to put my hands in my pockets to keep from slapping someone. It was simply the longest hour of my life.

A mother came in dressed in super short shorts and a Motley Crue tee shirt with her two teen daughters. It’s October in the North East… we had nice weather but it was not that warm. She had the biggest mouth of all times. Every single person at the DMV heard her every word. She couldn’t read the sign, nor could her two daughters. The Barfly mom actually shoved her way up to the desk to announce their arrival. She was told to read the sign and to take a ticket. Unfortunately, they forgot to tell her to shut up. The whole place had to hear her conversations with her daughters, and we had to listen to her answer her cell phone… each time it rang. Yes, it rang several times.

Some fat old hag came in, also dressed in clothing from a dollar store, with her two adult derelict sons. And wouldn’t you know it… she was just as loud and couldn’t read the sign either. Eventually, she figured out she needed a number. The DMV was packed, so she started DIGGING in the GARBAGE can seeking to find a number that someone threw away. Because it was so busy on this particular day… many people came in, took a number, and could not wait. The hag found one… 3 numbers BEFORE mine.

I was LIVID. Just because this skank was used to sifting through garbage, while I am not… did not give her the right to cut in line. She basically got to jump ahead of at least a dozen people. This is the exact reason I carry such a small purse… if I could fit weapons in it… I would always carry them.

Luckily I do not have to get a new license again for another 4 years. But my real questions is…. How the HELL do the DMV employees not go insane? I wonder if they have to get counseling on a regular basis.

Stupid People Should Not Own Dogs

One of my pet peeves and annoyances are the people who get a pet that they know nothing about, in particular how to train or take care of properly.  I am an animal lover, and as such, it truly sickens me about the stupidity people have about pet ownership. In particular, people get dogs that are usually the dumbest. I decided to make this post be an instruction one for fucktards. I will explain to you what to do before getting a dog and what to do in general terms once you’ve decided to ruin its life. Pay attention dummies. Pick a breed in advance that you like and do some actual research. All dogs are different, some have different needs and common sense is that you need to find one that matches your personality. For instance, don’t own a dinky one-floor ranch style house with a small yard and get a big Lab because they are so cute. A Lab needs to RUN, it needs space, and cramming it in a small house is a little cruel and blatantly stupid. A Lab is a working breed, it needs a job, or it needs to have something to do. Trying to take a Lab out on a leash to go potty without letting it run and be a dog… is cruelty to the animal. I have literally known people to do this. But they’d act shocked when any chance the Lab got… it slipped out the front door to RUN through the neighborhood. Duh, don’t get a dog that requires MORE than what you are willing to put into it. Since all dogs have different needs you should do research to find one that matches YOUR lifestyle. In other words; if you are a couch potato then get a lazy dog too. It’s works out best if you are BOTH lying around getting fatter. Expect work no matter what the dog’s age is, and expect 100 times more if it is a PUPPY. We’re all suckers for puppies, and anyone who isn’t is probably storing a few bodies in their refrigerator. Puppies are ALL CUTE. But God Damnit: they take as much work a human baby. It’s not a joke or exaggeration either. They will cry at night. They rely on you for food. You have to clean up after them. You don’t GET to take your eyes off them for several months until they are fully trained. Don’t bring a puppy home and then be so stupid that you don’t realize the commitment you have made. Tons of young dogs end up being returned to breeders or given to shelters because the people who got it were too fucking lazy to put the work in. You are responsible for teaching a dog to be a good member of society. Train the damn thing. Take your dog to obedience classes. Be the dog’s leader and owner, not their buddy, mommy, or playmate ALL the time.  Teach your dog MANNERS and how to behave. If you cannot control the dog…. it is YOU; not their fault. Expect to PAY big bucks while owning a dog. They cost a lot. There are vet bills and medical things you MUST NOT skimp on such as annual shots. You will most likely outlive your dog too fucktard, unfortunately. That means it will get old, sick, and terminal sooner or later. Once you make that commitment, stick with it. Take care of that animal like a family member and get it treatment. But don’t torture the creature and make it suffer because you are a big crybaby wimp. You must remember that you will either watch that animal die, or you will have to put it to sleep when it begins to suffer. I have seen countless people in my life do selfish and horrible things like let dogs continue to survive through horrendous health conditions to serve their own selfish needs. No ethical vet is going to make the choice to put your dog to sleep, they will only give you options. It’s up to you to use some common sense. If your dog has no quality of life, and is in pain or is suffering without much hope then do your beloved friend a huge favor and end it. Animals are not like people in the sense that they even want to continue to live. A dog in nature will go off on its own to die. They aren’t afraid of it the way we are. It’s about balance. You don’t put your dog to sleep because they broke their leg, you help it mend. Euthanasia is only appropriate when there is little hope, no quality of life, or pain. Oh and for the dummies.. if it costs $3000 to fix your dog’s broken leg, don’t give it away to a shelter. Deal with it. Nothing pisses me off more than a cheap lazy asshole. Do your dog a favor and PROTECT it. Get a fence. Keep it on a leash in the neighborhood.  Don’t let them run the streets freely. Don’t leave your dog totally unattended to for hours on end. Crate train your dog. It is NOT cruel to provide a cozy comfy dog den for your friend, and if crate training is done properly then that is what it becomes. Fucktards are always doing stupid shit like getting pets or having children. Someone HAS to teach them what to do dang it.

Circulating Tax Email Bullshit

This is truly one of my pet peeves, but then again I have many of those. Fucktards, please listen up because it is you twats that feed into this bullshit. All those stupid “informative” or “educational” chain letters you get in an email…. are bullshit. Please don ‘t keep forwarding them on because you learned some tidbit of trivia that you didn’t know before. There is a major chance….. That the info is INCORRECT, not to mention it ‘s a virus or something else. Fucktards take these chain letters totally seriously. There is one floating around right now for instance about Taxes. It ‘s some fucktarded poem that some angry poor unemployed person probably wrote…. who also doesn’t want to pay taxes. So they give misleading info by saying that the US didn’t have taxes or a national debt 100 yrs ago. What really ticked me off is some dumb ass also posted it on their blog to help inform their stupid readers too. Therefore, I must rant.

Um, it is bullshit that we didn’t pay taxes in the US 100 years ago. Wars have always created a National Debt and we have had plenty. Sure, our debt now is HUGE beyond belief, but the Civil War created one too and yeah, at that time it was very high. And Taxes aren’t just an American issue either jackasses every country in the World pays them. Duh. Some countries pay much HIGHER than Americans do. The Germans, for instance, are paying a Restitution Tax for WWII. It comes right out of their paychecks. Oh, they also are taxed a Religion tax too. Didn’t Americans litter our tea in some body of water to revolt against the UK ‘s taxes? Um, I believe that might also be true too (uh yeah that ‘s sarcasm dummies). I guess we were paying taxes and hoping not to have to do that here. Boy, we sure were idealistic and stupid weren’t we? The United States began the development of the IRS (it was not technically the same as we have now “ for the dummies that might get confused) in the middle of the 1800 ‘s. Um, that ‘s more than 100 years ago. Cigarettes and alcohol have been taxed since roughly since that time too. While it is true that in the last 100 years American taxes have dramatically increased… some are really needed if you want nice roads to drive on if you want health care costs to be semi-affordable, and if you wants losers who don ‘t pay their taxes to get more fees than you. Some of the taxes that this dumb chain letter bitches about are:

Corporation Taxes – Um ok. Corporations need to be taxed. They can afford it and they make up a major part of the American infrastructure. People who have any intelligence know that they should be taxed for a variety of reasons.

Property Taxes “ Um ok so you don ‘t want a Police or Fire Dept in your community?

Road Usage Taxes “ the more intelligent people call these Toll Roads. I guess you don’t want roads?

Unemployment Taxes “ So these supply you with an income when you lose your fucktarded job at McDonald’s. And we ALL know that you want money when you get fired.

Social Security Tax “ Is anyone actually dumb enough to not realize why we pay this? If so, sorry, it will take me way too long to explain it to you.

Marriage License Tax “ yeah you gotta pay to get married, but then you also get tax advantages for it. No brainer.

Building Permit Taxes “ This allows us to mandate building codes and makes them safer to live and work in. But who really needs that?

There were tons more, basically all taxes listed and complained about. I have a life so it would take me way too long to go over each one. The email closes out with the statement of 100 years ago fantasy bullshit, but it also sticks in that women stayed home with the kids as if implying that made things better too. I guess it did in some ways but for 100 years women had no choices and no rights either. Duh. Progress and growth cost money fucktards. I know that is a hard concept to grasp for you because you normally do not improve your stations in life, and you need someone to blame it on. But yeah, progress costs money. We also have doubled our population of fucktards that need to be taken care of too. The US is no longer some little melting pot Island where immigrants can come to hide from their problems in their own land. We aren’t the Land of Hope that we once were, now we seem to be the Land of Entitlement. Get over it, and pay your fucking taxes. Shut up and stop sending out chain letters written in ignorance. You only show me how stupid you are. Try using the internet for educating yourself instead. America keeps getting dumber and I could vomit.

I Love Natural Selection

I saw this on the news the other day and I just had to laugh and point this out. There was a story about a young man (in his early twenties) who was killed the other day because he was hit by a train. How the fuck do you get hit by a train? Did it sneak up on him then jump out of the weeds and smash him? Here’s a news flash for you Fucktards out there. If you don’t want to get hit by a train..Don’t walk on the tracks! This may seem to be something that wouldn’t be possible, but I assure you. Trains don’t leave the tracks for the most part. If you just can’t bear to walk around and avoid the train tracks, here is another tip. When that REALLY loud metal thing coming at you starts making a lot of noise move off the tracks. That big thing is a train and it can smash you. I just love natural selection.

 

Homeless Loser Lies For Cash

If you have read any of my previous postings, you may have figured out that there are things that irritate me from time to time. (If you are not a fucktard that is). I saw a gentleman the other day that combined several of my pet peeves all in one. An ultimate combo fucktard if you will. Anyway, I was trudging my way across the bridge to work and trying to block out the world like I do every day. In my travels I see a person sitting on the side of the bridge with their little cup sitting in front of them and a sign. Now, this is not unusual, and I have written about not wanting to give people my money before. The sign that this gentleman had said “Homeless and Hungry Vietnam Veteran”. Underneath this, the sign said, “Get out of Iraq Now”. Now, first of all, it irritates the hell out of me when someone tries to push their political or religious beliefs off on me and it irritates me even more so that this was coming from some douchebag begging me for money. You can’t get a job and you think that I want to hear your opinion on anything? Before any of the veterans get upset with me because they feel that I wouldn’t understand the sentiment without having been there, let me finish my story. Then we’ll see who the fucktard was. Anyway, I am looking at this guy and his sign and notice something that seems off about the situation. I look closer and then it hits me. The fucktard looks to be in his late thirties MAYBE early forties. (For those of you who may not understand what I mean (read Fucktard) he would have had to be under 5 to have been in Vietnam.) So now I have a lying, politics spouting, unemployed shit rag begging me for money. But wait, there’s more. The story gets even better. In my examination of him, I originally thought that he was sitting there holding his head in his hands. In looking closer (only looking mind you, because if I actually moved closer the smell would have killed me), I discovered that he has not held his head in his hands, he was, in fact, Talking on a cell phone! So now we have I have a lying, politics spouting, unemployed shit rag begging me for money and talking on a cell phone in public. The Ultimate Combo Fucktard. However, this got me thinking. Why would a bum need a cell phone? Who is he going to call? Other bums? Obviously, he is not calling work ““ maybe he is calling his family. But then, if he has some family to call on the phone, why doesn’t he do something like I don’t know, live with them or ask them for money or food. Then I thought that maybe instead of paying the monthly bill, he could just buy food. I also started thinking that maybe I could start a business where I would trade food for the leftover minutes that all the bums with cell phones had at the end of the month and resell them for a profit to all of the other fucktards who have to jabber constantly on a phone. But I digress. Then figured that he may have a good idea. I mean after all, if someone needs to get in contact with him, his best option would be a cell phone. It is pretty certain that they could not call his house and leave a message.

It’s a Fucktard Day in the Neighborhood

Let me tell you how a couple of days went for me last week. I own a fairly new car (a little over 3 years old) that does have a bit of mileage on it. I do drive into work every day and it is a fairly decent commute of about 35 miles one way. Last Monday I was driving home from work and sitting in traffic before going through a tunnel (like I do every day) and cursing whatever Fucktard slowed down first and made all the traffic back up (like I do every day). Anyway, traffic finally starts moving and I hit the gas. The engine revs and nothing else happens. I am in drive and I am not moving at all. I try switching gears, etc and nothing. The transmission is gone. I sit there for a while, in the fast lane, contacting someone to come and tow me (now this is only about 3 miles into my journey home). I finally get in touch with someone and they will send a tow truck, but it will be about an hour and a half due to traffic. This is fine. I expected this. About this time, the local patrol tow truck shows up and helps me move my car from the road to the berm. Great, this was a big help and I appreciated it. The guy was even nice enough to stop back an hour later and check that I was OK (I.e. Non-Fucktard). Unfortunately, this was about the most terrifying hour and a half of my life. Here I am sitting on the berm by an exit before the tunnel and there are numerous Fucktards who find no problem driving on the berm to get past traffic and almost sideswipe my car. They had to see it there but just didn’t seem to notice or care. (I also have to take a moment to put out my thanks to a state patrol officer who also stopped during this time to check on me. He even gave me a number to call their barracks if the tow truck did not show up. He almost was hit by some Fucktard driving on berm while he did this, but I appreciate his help). The tow truck showed up after an hour and a half and we got my car situated to tow. Allow me to describe the tow truck driver. He was a fairly large man (not fat, but pretty muscular and larger than me) with tattoos on both arms and on the back and side of his shaved head. He also had no front teeth. This was actually not a problem for me because back in the day this old punk hung out with some pretty big degenerates. When we get into the truck, the first thing that he says to me is “Do you like Metallica?” as it is jamming on the radio. Actually, I do like some Metallica and I told him so. This appears to have been the point where Ray and I became best of friends. He says “Good Man” and pulls out in front of traffic. We are on our way. We’re driving along discussing the best way to get to where my car needs to go since he needs to drop off another car first. After this discussion, we start talking about music again and Ray tells me that he has been a headbanger for years. He tells me that he used to have really long hair “Longer than my old ladies” that hung down to his knees. He then tells me that he got sent away then and had to shave it all off. He keeps it shaved now because of the tattoos. Cool. I can deal with this still. After talking about some other things, we get to where we need to drop the other car off and do so. Then we situate my car back on the truck and we’re off again. We discuss important world places like CrapDonald’s and Wal-Mart and how these have made an impact upon our society at large. Just kidding, Ray actually just told me how he really likes both of them. Ray then starts to tell me a story about how he had a guy in the truck one time who “He just knew had something wrong with him and it was like he was retarded or something”. Anyway, the guy yelled at him to stop the truck and Ray stopped because he thought the guy had to vomit or something. No, the guy demanded that he get out of the truck and pulled out a knife. Ray then tells me how he reached under his seat and pulled out his gun and shot the guy four times while the guy was stabbing him. Ray even pulled up his shirt to show me the scar (while driving about 60 miles and hour) and again told me how he pulled his gun out from under the seat and shot the guy. Ray then told me that it was OK because the guy did not die. He even tried to help the guy before the ambulance arrived even though he was stabbed. The police felt it was OK too, but he was upset that he lost the right to carry his gun for 7 months and did not think that this was fair of the courts. I am feeling a tad bit nervous at this point since we still have about 20 miles to go to get to the garage. Lucky for me that Ray is my new best friend. (Although I did wonder how if he was sent away he was able to get a permit to carry a gun anyway.) The subject changes and before we get to the garage, we stopped to get something to eat and stopped at a convenience store for chew. Finally, we arrive at the garage and get my car unloaded. Ray then tells me that I owe him $60 over the money that my roadside assistance paid. He also tells me that he cannot accept a card, they only accept cash. I think he just wanted to ride with me some more to go to the ATM. Thankfully I happen to have it and pay him. He gives me a big toothless grin as he waves and drives away. I get home 5 hours after I left work. Now, you may think that Ray is the Fucktard of the story. He was not. I actually did like him and had a rather amusing time for the most part. I just told that part of the story because I thought it was funny. The real Fucktards came the next day. This part of my tale is NOT funny. The garage calls me (No, they are not the Fucktards either  (they were pretty good throughout this) and tells me that the part of my car that broke was not covered. They then asked me if I had an extended warranty. I believed that I did and, because I was at work, had to make several hundred phone calls between the garage, the place I bought my car and the place the warranty was through to try to get the information. After much wailing, moaning, and gnashing of teeth, I managed to get in touch with all these people (even though they had the information for my car fucked up) and get everything straight. This is where the Fucktard part of the story comes in. The guy handling the warranty claim then tells me “You know that the warranty company filed for bankruptcy two months ago and are not paying new claims, right?” No Fucktard, I did not know. Do you think that it would have been nice to inform the people that have this warranty about the company going bankrupt? I happened to pay a shitload of money when I bought the car so that I did not have to worry about crap like this. He gives me a website to look up and see what the insurance company contracted for my policy was doing regarding this. I go there and after searching through several thousand names (literally), I find my name and policy number. I look up what they are doing about the claims and the website says that if you live in seven specific states, they are covering the claims in full. I don’t live in any of those states of course. If you live in any other state, they are doing NOTHING right now and check back to the website in a couple of months. So, there you have the true Fucktards of this tale of woe. The bastards that I paid money to when I bought my car and then forced me to pay the full amount to get it fixed when it broke. That is the real crime. Maybe they should have been sent away instead of my buddy Ray.

Those Orange Cone Thingies Mean What??

I have said before that I spend a lot of time in my car driving to and from work. I have seen a lot of stupid things that Fucktards do while driving that make me wonder how they manage to keep their licenses. This morning I saw something so asinine that I had to write this rant today. In my travels to work, I pass through one highway that they are doing a lot of construction on. Basically, they are rebuilding this highway and turning it from a two-lane to a four-lane highway in certain stretches of the road. They have been doing this for at least a year and a half and plan to finish this in the next two years. This is not a new construction site. Nothing has changed in at least 6 months. I have written about this highway and construction before in Fucktards on Wheel 2. (This is where the idiot drove off the side trying to get to the adult bookstore.). Right now they have all the traffic driving in one set of lanes while they build the other set. Part of the other set of lanes is completed, but not open. At one point of this road, there is an intersection which is also down to one small set of lanes coming in and out of it. To turn right at this intersection you have to get to the light and turn down where they have it open. While there is some road before this, it is marked with those orange and white construction things that replaced the barrels and there is yellow caution tape strung between them. This light is usually red for no more than two minutes or so, just enough to let a couple of cars onto the highway. This morning I am at the light and there is one car in front of me and one Fucktard behind me. Fucktard decides that they are so important that they don’t have to wait for the light to change to turn that they cross over the part of the road that is newly paved and drive down the ramp that is blocked off. I guess they did not realize that the cones and caution tape meant that you should not be driving here. Fucktard must have realized this when they got to the end of the ramp and saw that the cones and tape were stretched across this effectively blocking them from driving anymore since they did stop at this point. Now, Fucktard had to take while to think about what they were going to do because they sat there for a minute. I don’t know if they were actually thinking or the sound of air whistling between their ears distracted them. Either way, instead of backing up and coming back onto the road and turning where they should have – Fucktard drives very slowly (so they don’t mess up their overly large SUV’s paint job) THROUGH the cones and caution tape. They broke the tape and knocked the cones to the side. After cautiously driving through the caution tape, Fucktard speeds away so that no one knows that they were the dipshit that did this. I can think of a lot better things that my tax dollars can go to than having the road crews clean up after some asshole thinks they can just do whatever they want. The most amusing part of this is that this person then immediately turned from destroying property into a gas station on the side of the intersection. I guess that it not so amusing after all. Just one more example of a Fucktard that should not be allowed to share the road with me.

Work Fucktards. I think they are the worst.

Where I work you don’t have to give any kind of explanation on why you need a day off or what’s ailing you, just make sure you call in.

Well, normal people understand this, but NOT FUCKTARDS. Not only can they not even call in on time and sometimes not at all they have to tell you every piece of drama that is going on in their life.

First of all, I don’t give a shit. We are not family, friends…hell I don’t even like you.

I have put off this rant about a certain co-worker long enough. She called in tonight, 45 minutes late, and proceeded to cough in my ear and then go on and on about all of her illnesses. “I am sorry I am late, but I have been having breathing problems.” I am asthmatic and I am insulin dependent diabetic. Of course, she was just getting home from somewhere and it wasn’t the hospital. Maybe her mother, the one that has Alzheimer’s, was driving her home from some shindig. Yes, her mother drives them places. That’s a scary thought. If it’s not her health it’s that she is doing something for her elderly mother with Alzheimer’s. She has to let us know that every fucking time she calls off also. All I know is my mother, whom I love with all my heart, is a terrible driver now. I sure wouldn’t get in the car with her if she had Alzheimer’s.

BTW, the jobs we do not require any physical activity what-so-ever.

 

Parking Lot Fucktards

Another one of my pet peeves are the fucktards that disobey simple driving rules in parking lots. These are the douche bags that do not stop at the intersections where a big stop sign appears. Or they cut across the parking spots, cut you off because you are following traffic rules but give you the stupid look. I am of the opinion that putting people in a shopping center parking lot of any kind causes them to lose 50 IQ points instantly. I also get annoyed by the fucktards that walk right in front of your car without even looking. I realize pedestrians have the right of way, but my mother must have been a genius when she taught me to look both ways in case a car doesn’t see me. One day in the future I could be having a bad day in the Walmart parking lot and I’ll be cleaning Irma Jean Fucktard and her two ugly brats off the hood of my car with a spatula…. but I won’t feel guilty. Please work with me and the rest of us damn it…. follow the rules of the road in the parking lot, look both ways before you go trotting along, look BEHIND you when you back up dummies. I shouldn’t have to write this but too many stupid people keep shopping.

Stupid Parents Create Stupid Children

Oprah did a show on Friday about “Mom’s Who Can’t Say No”. That was the title of the episode but it should have been “Stop Being a Fucktard Parent”. It was about how spoiling our children is actually bad for them. The experts said that giving them everything they want makes them feel entitled, causes children not to appreciate things, makes them have no work ethic, and that it ruins their lives.

Hello? Do people have their brains on at all? No fucking shit. Why does Oprah have to even explain this to anyone? This was real, this had to be an actual Oprah lesson because so many fucktards keep reproducing yet have no clue how to create a good thoughtful productive human being. What killed me is there were working professional articulate parents that were destroying their kids and they were acting as if they had no idea! Do people realize it takes more skill then FUCKING to be a parent?

I am almost 37 years old, my mother used to lecture me on a “bad” behavior and when she did she told me “it was for my own good”. She told me that when I grew up I’d understand and be a better person for it when she had to punish me. I can’t believe my mother actually wanted me to grow up and do right by society, by her, by my own friends and family.

What the hell is wrong with people that we have to watch a tv talk show to tell us how make our kids generous people instead of selfish ones? Have we lost all common sense in the United States? Now, all we need is a talk show to tell the people “if you are a fucktard then don’t have children”. And truthfully that would solve the problem too.

Drive With Some Manners, Fucktard

As you probably have figured out, I spend a lot of time in my car driving back and forth to work. It amazes me just how much Fucktards have no manners whatsoever while driving anymore. I always understood that it is much better to be polite to others while driving than to be an ass. I have found that it doesn’t matter if someone is driving a Lexus or a piece of shit car that should have been junked in the 70’s they are all Fucktards. For example, it was my understanding that it was polite to allow someone to enter a roadway from a ramp or side street if possible. The extra minute you save by being a Fucktard and ignoring others doesn’t really help you get to where you are going any faster. Conversely, it doesn’t help for you to be a complete prick and cut in front of others either. You are not so important that you have to force your way in and almost cause an accident. If someone happens to let you in, don’t act as if it is your God-given right that they should. Show some fucking manners and at least acknowledge that they were nice enough to do this. You can interrupt your phone call for two seconds and wave. You shouldn’t be talking on the phone when you are driving anyways shithead. For you Fucktards that cannot read, those signs that say “Do Not Block Intersection” mean something. They mean DO NOT BLOCK THE GOD DAMN INTERSECTION. You are usually sitting at a red light anyway dipshit, so why the fuck do you have to stop anyone from getting into or out of a parking lot or maybe even drive on a cross street when it is their turn? It is not like you are going anywhere. Show some fucking manners. I also get particularly annoyed at the truly brilliant people who do not realize that those thick white lines in front of lights and stop signs at intersections mean you are supposed to stop BEHIND the line. There is a reason for this as well. They will even post signs to this effect and some Fucktard still cannot figure it out. I guess if you cannot read the intersection sign, you cannot figure this out either. Don’t you have to take written test to get your license anymore? Wherever you live paid some engineer a lot of money to determine where it would be safe for people to turn and where you should stop at. Do you really think you are smarter and can stop anywhere you want? I can assure you, Fucktard, you are not. Again, you are stopped. Is that extra two feet going to save you any time? No, it is not. Then, to top it off, you have the nerve to look shocked and annoyed when I almost hit you when I am turning around a corner because you are where you are not supposed to be. How shocked will you look when I throw a brick through your window? Please, I beg you, if you are going to drive, stop being a Fucktard and show some fucking manners.

Fucktard Gets Naked

There are actually times that Fucktards amuse me instead of pissing me off. Since this is extremely rare, I thought I would relate an incident that occurred a couple of months ago that was one of the funniest things that I ever saw. As you can tell by the title, this does involve a naked Fucktard. Now, this person was definitely not someone that I would ever want to willingly see naked, but it was such a treat given the circumstance that I can forgive that. So the story goes Fucktard was in a convenience store in the middle of the city that I work in and she shoplifts a bag of peanuts (go figure the elephant steals peanuts). The clerk then confronts her about it and she (of course) retaliates by yelling and screaming at the clerk. Somehow in the midst of this VERBAL altercation, Fucktard manages to lose ALL of her clothes. I am talking everything from shirt and pants to underwear and socks/shoes. She is buck naked. Then she runs out of the store and into the street (again downtown in a fairly large metropolitan city on a very busy intersection) and proceeds to continue to yell and scream at the clerk inside the store while jumping up and down like one of those tribal scenes that you used to able to see in National Geographic. If she only had a bone through her nose, it would have been perfect. Since there is a fire station next to the convenience store, the EMT’s come out and are standing around her talking to her. Cue me trudging in on my way to work. I come around the corner and see this scene. I just have to stop for a moment and watch. It is not often that you see a hippopotamus naked in the street. After watching for a while, I have to go to work (because I am a responsible person) and continue to my office (which is up one block and down another). As I come down to the front of my building, I see Fucktard running down the street like a rhino crossing the Serengeti. She has managed to put her shirt back on, but nothing else. Even more amusing is the picture of a skinny little EMT running along behind her holding her pants out in front of him for her to take like a baton in a relay race. I almost shit myself. Seconds later there are police swarming the area in an attempt to hunt down this wild beast. Now, instead of only being questioned for shoplifting (a relatively minor offense) Fucktard now faces charges of public indecency and resisting arrest. I found out later that to top it off, once the police finished their safari (I am sure they had to shoot her with several tranquilizer darts) and captured her they hauled her off to the local loony bin. So now she is naked and crazy. I have always wondered why crazy people get naked in the strangest places. If every Fucktard could be amusing like this one instead of stupid and irritating, I would not mind having so many of them in the world.

September 11th Nightmare Includes Stupidity

9/11 is a day we all remember, and on the anniversary of such a tragic event, I thought I’d celebrate some stupidity I was exposed to at the time. This is a Rainbow Brite post, she is listed in the Hall of Fame by me for her fucktard sensibilities. I knew her for about 10 years, and each day she became dumber.

So the story of idiocy begins.

Unless you are an idiot you know what happened 9/11/01. That’s not my story. The night of September 11^th I couldn’t sleep, I live very close to the Pennsylvania crash site, so it was on my mind specifically. I felt scared, sad, worried, angry etc just like every other American. In fact, there was also a great feeling of pride in America and the only positive thing I can say about the event itself is that we all did appreciate our American Pride a bit more. I know I did at least, and I felt the need the next day to put out an American flag. It was something I did not own, which made me realize I should have one.

I spoke to fucktard Rainbow Brite on the phone, expressed this need to her and she said “that’s a good idea. I know it is dummy, it came from me, not you of course. So as always she needs to attach herself to my shirt tails and said she wanted to go with me. She even volunteered to drive.

Now let’s review something about Rainbow Brite and her automobiles. In the years I knew her she only owned one beyond the year 1990, and she only got it about 2 years ago. She and her husband bought junkers, because ” a new car is a waste of money”, as opposed to the hundreds of dollars per year they were sinking into these used pieces of shit. And yes, of course, they were getting ripped off by buying cars that the very minute they drove away from the sale they broke down. It literally did happen and still, they never learned that maybe they were not smart car shoppers and that they were always jumping from one frying pan into another.

So, dear Rainbow Brite in her Granny junker pulled clunking loudly into my driveway. I got in the car with the door that wouldn’t lock, and off we went listening to her 8-track tapes. Rainbow, the fucktard, as you might assume is not a great driver. She tends to have a very short attention span, she looks at something as you pass it and begins to swerve all over the road. You have to remind her to look at the road again. She tends to look at her surroundings more than the road ahead. Highway driving was scary and I always interrupted her childish “ooooh lookie over there” comments. I also used a seat belt if the junker even had one.

This particular trip I felt wasn’t such a big deal. We were going about 2 miles away to a specific shop. There was little traffic, people were just not out and a person slowly passed us in the turning lane literally one block from my house. I saw a guy, possibly of Arabic descent from the corner of my eye, while Rainbow turned away completely to look as he passed. I knew a stupid comment was coming.

She SLAMMED on the brakes in the middle of the road.

“I swear to God that guy had a gun” she shouts at me.

“Shut up and drive, quit being a paranoid retard”, I answered.

Do you believe it? It’s the honest truth. I could not make this shit up. It was your standard stupid fucktard thing that every Arab is “guilty” and yet it was only 24 hours later so we did not have full proof of who had officially caused the whole thing yet. It totally pissed me off. She started driving again.

We heard an obvious helicopter overhead not more than 8 feet later down the road. She SLAMMED on the brakes again and looked UP and out the window as if it was going to fall from the sky or crash into something. It was so obvious that the helicopter was going to, or coming from the crash site, as I mentioned earlier – we lived near it. Ok, well obvious to anyone who wasn’t a fucktard. Rainbow asked me why it was up there since all flights were shut down etc. Like I said, obvious to anyone who wasn’t a fucktard. So I had to explain it.

“oooooooooooh yeah, that makes sense”.

Yes Rainbow, it does make sense, to anyone with COMMON SENSE and half a brain. It’s just that we don’t all need it explained to us by people who are 10 years our junior. Yes, she is also that much older than me. I wasn’t sure whether I should slap her, or run screaming from the car. But I really did want to get to the shop.

She asked me after we got our flags if I wanted to go to lunch or something. But I had met my fucktard limit already and I needed to go home, where sanity prevailed.

This event with Rainbow will remain etched forever in my head as a part of the horror on September 11^th. The horror of her stupidity, immaturity, and ignorance still linger in my head each year.

Don’t Eat the Donuts

I was at the grocery store this past weekend and saw an incident that completely disgusted me. After shopping for a while, I had to sit down. This is because you cannot have just a simple grocery store anymore, but everything has to be a super-megaopolis shopping mecca. While these stores are now all huge, they still don’t seem to carry anything that I happen to like, or they discontinue carrying it in a very short time. I can, however, buy any amount of sugar coated sugar cubes dipped in chocolate with sprinkles on top breakfast cereal that I want. But I digress, back to the incident. Since I am tired of walking around, I want to sit down. In this store there is an area set up like a cafe with tables and chairs in between the bakery and the deli. I sit on one of the chairs while my wife goes and looks for something that she wants in this area. While sitting there, I watch as this old couple goes up to the self-serve donut area and prepare to get some donuts. You would think that given their age, they would have been taught some manners at some point, but not these Fucktards. While the woman holds open the bag, the man starts to get some donuts. Is he using one of those nifty disposable plastic gloves? Is he using those handily placed tongs? No. He reaches in with his Ben Gay and Feces encrusted hands and starts handling all of the donuts to pick what they want. If this was not bad enough, Geriatric Man suffers an arthritic spasm and drops one of the donuts he has picked onto the floor. Any normal person would have left this there or threw it in the garbage. Fucktarded people do what he did. HE PICKS THE DONUT UP AND PUTS IT BACK IN THE CASE! Then picks up the donut next to the one that was on the floor and puts it in the bag. Do you think his wife said anything to him? No, she looks to see if there are any store employees to see him and gives him the nod when the coast is clear. I already know that things like this happen and if you saw how any of the food you eat was prepared, you would stop eating. But give me prepackaged, full of preservatives, food any day. This way I know the only Fucktard that has handled my food was at the packaging plant and I can put that out of my mind.

Fucktards on Wheels 3

While driving home from work today, I saw something that reaffirms my belief that there should be a Fucktard test given to every person before they are allowed to have a license to drive. As I was driving, I pass this Dimwit who is driving along in his red-neck monster truck. It is bad enough that the shitbox he is driving is allowed on the road at all with all of the rusted pieces falling off of it, but he has to make it worse. This Fucktard is driving with his leg hanging out of the widow and his camouflaged work boot resting on the front of his side view mirror. At the same time, he is leaning with his left arm and elbow out the window as well and is smoking. Furthermore, he is using his right hand to pick mud off his boots and throwing it in the other lane. What the fuck is he driving with? You just know that since he is wearing a sideways baseball cap that he has a needle dick, so obviously he is not using this to steer with and most likely not steering at all. He also has to be in a bad angle to use his other leg to control the pedals. To make matters even worse is that he is not driving on a back road, but is on a major interstate with three lanes on each side doing at least 70 MPH. I am amazed that I ever make it home alive when this is what I have driving beside me.

Drama Queen

I wrote a rant about one of my staff before. Please read the Fat Ass post to know the dipshit I am dealing with. This woman is a total drama queen, the excuse princess, and her life must be pretty difficult as you will see. She also calls “off” constantly despite the fact that she has the weekends off.

Yesterday the Drama Queen emailed me to let me know that during her days off she was in the hospital for walking pneumonia. She was feeling better she said, and her cough was tons better but she was taking the night off. She said she needed rest because during her 3 days in the hospital that they came in every 20 minutes to take her blood pressure, to take her blood, or to make her do breathing tests. It apparently exhausted her to lay in a bed.

I don’t know what hospital it is but damn they give good care. When I was in the hospital a few years ago in the ICU unit mind you, I had to buzz for the nurses. They weren’t showing up every 20 minutes for the ICU unit. And 3 days hospital stay for walking pneumonia? Whoa, that’s good insurance she has! My 70 yr old father with his heart condition and pacemaker had full blown pneumonia and they only kept him overnight.

So, basically the Drama Queen had 3 days of laying in the hospital doing nothing, and she needed rest from that. Doesn’t her fat ass kid keep her busier in a normal day with all his head injuries? Surely she should need more rest from that reject, right?

Another time she told me she was in the hospital this year (yes apparently she spends a lot of time there between her problems and the fat ass kids) it was for some queer stomach issue that she didn’t name to me. But she did tell me her doctor told her she should have bed rest for a week. I want her insurance, her hospital, and her damn doctor because mine usually just writes me a prescription and tells me to go back to my normal routines.. like my job.

I feel like I run a fucktarded special education class instead of a business.

Stop Touching Things

In the past I worked with a girl I call Rainbow Brite. She was a complete drooling fucktard in every way. One of her stupid stunts was that she had to "stick her hand in the cookie jar" constantly.

She’d be given a tool to use for work, a Microsoft Database or an Excel spreadsheet that was pre-made to use. The intention was to organize her stupid ass, and all she had to do was physically input information and then leave it alone. But she was a "picker", she was "nosy" about shit she didn’t even understand. She actually thought she was smart enough to learn or figure things out so she would start clicking around and making changes. She always wanted to change things to make it HER way rather than what everyone else did/used. Eventually she’d fuck it all up of course. This brilliant action happened CONSTANTLY and for someone who wanted to learn so badly – she never seemed to get the real lesson involved which was "leave it ALONE dumb ass". This always, as you might guess, created more work for her (because now you have to start all over) and for me. The latter is what pissed me off to no end. If you are such a fucktard that you don’t mind having to do everything twice and wasting weeks of time repairing your stupid mistakes then fine. But don’t involve ME or anyone else in your nonsense. I’m busy actually working and doing my job you dipshit. Rainbow Brite went away, quit because she got tired of being yelled at for all of HER stupid mistakes. I had a party.

This little story brings me to my current situation. A new receptionist who is VERY part time was brought back after she had created a drama and quit impulsively 2 years ago. If I was the owner I would not take this type of person back, but I don’t have that control so it’s not my choice. So I will make the best of it. She has been back now almost 3 weeks.

This receptionist I will names as The Instigator, because ultimately that’s what she is. a little bit of a trouble maker. She isn’t by any means stupid, yet she is still fast proving herself to be a fucktard.

We use a special database that gets used as one huge file and it is passed to each receptionist daily as a "live" file. It’s always updated this way and it’s just how we do things. This file contains everything for our business, including payroll information and the exact commissions that our contractors have earned. I almost never have a live file, I use it only to check on things after it is done, because I am the manager; I oversee what they input into it.

Last week the Instigator told me she deleted some files that are in the Administrative area (mine) AFTER she did it. She said it nonchalantly, so I got what she said, but didn’t feel it was a major issue even though I didn’t like it right away. I just felt she was overstepping the line. The next day I got a copy of the updated file and she had deleted tons of shit I had in it, for a reason. I know this is a shock; but sometimes a manager does know what they are doing, sometimes there is a reason they do something.

Of course this created a huge amount of work for me. I had to print out all the old notes, and now I was forced to decide what needed to be returned. Since I don’t have a "live" file I had to impose on another receptionist to replace all these notes. It got fixed, and back to what the MANAGER (me) wanted. I then sent an email to the Instigator explain that she is not to touch the admin area again and my reasons for it. It was polite and I told her it was my fault that I misunderstood it when she told me. I took part of the blame, even though I did nothing wrong. I did not HAVE to explain myself because I am her boss, but I did so that it made sense why she shouldn’t do it again. She of course started to gossip with another receptionist and told her how MEAN I was to her. She took it VERY personally that she fucked up MY job. What an idiot. For me, I laughed, it only made me see her as The Instigator even more.

Last night.. Guess what Instigator did? She started with her nosy picking AGAIN after she was told to knock it off politely. She, like Rainbow Brite, has to mess with shit that they don’t know anything about or the things that do not concern her. The Instigator had to call me on my TIME OFF to confess that she messed with the file and now fucked up payroll for some of the contractors! Again, more time is involved for me to repair the damage that some jack off did. More time I have to impose on another receptionist etc. Leave it ALONE Instigator. Stop it! Quite touching stuff!

The Instigator is NOT a stupid person. She is not a drooling incompetent idiot like Rainbow Brite was. The Instigator is actually a lot SMARTER, but apparently has her own little control issues. Not ALL fucktards are low IQ dummies, some are fucktards in "secret". Some fucktards are smart people that do fucktarded things. Just stop it damn it.

Crosswalk is a BIG word

I don’t know about you Fucktards, but I was taught at a very young age (i.e. Kindergarten) how to stay between the lines. You had to stay between the lines when coloring a picture as well as stay between the lines on the paper when you were writing and practicing your alphabet or spelling. Somewhere after this, Fucktards lose the ability to stay between the lines (if they ever learned how in the first place). I can give you two examples of this.

 

When I worked at a past job, I used to have to drive through a low income housing apartment area a lot. This is one of those fun places that have a mixture of townhouses and apartments and always have such great pretentious names like Holiday Acres or Suburban Estates. Anyway, I am driving through here and this large woman, with her six or seven illegitimate children, steps out into the middle of the road in front of my car thus forcing me to come to a sudden stop. She immediately starts flapping her arms and squawking about my needing to slow down (I had just turned a corner from a stop sign and was doing maybe 20 MPH) and to watch out for her children. Now, when did this become my duty? Just because the government forces me to pay to support your spawn, it does not mean that I automatically then have to take the responsibility of watching out for and protecting them. That falls squarely onto your fat, government-issue cheese eating, Fucktarded shoulders. And possible one of the multitude of baby-daddies associated with you. Unless they have all taken off already. Anyway, here is this barnacle on society jumping up and down in the middle of road and babbling incoherently, although colorfully, and pointing at a sign by the sidewalk. Amongst the ranting, I make out the words to the effect of "can’t you read?" Yes I can. I have been able to read for a very long time and can clearly make out that the sign says "Yield to Pedestrians in the Crosswalk". Do you know what the word Crosswalk means Fucktard? I don’t know where you, the reader, lives, but where I live most crosswalks are at the corner of the street. Whether they are at the corner or not, every one that I have ever seen is CLEARLY and DISTINCTLY marked with big white or white and yellow lines. This means that it is safe to cross the street here. That large expanse of unmarked pavement is a FUCKING ROAD. This has been designed for AUTOMOBILES. It is not safe to decide to cross this part and expect people that are driving to have to accommodate you. That would be the thinking of a Fucktard.

 

Today I watched this really fucking intelligent asswipe try to do a similar thing. I have told you that I work in a large metropolitan city and walk into my job everyday. Many other people also walk in. Most of the time, you have to cross streets. A lot of these streets are 4 or 5 lane roads with a large amount of traffic. This means that when you cross, you have to watch out for many drivers, as well as busses and it is probably the smart (and safer) idea to cross at the crosswalk when the lights are with you. This does not seem to be the case for Fucktards though. They think they can just walk across wherever they feel like. This shit head walks out into the middle of traffic to cross the road and almost gets hit twice. He actually stood there in the middle of the road with a shocked expression on his slack jawed face, unable to believe that this almost happened. He even whined once he had made it across the street that he was almost run over. Could you honestly not see that coming Nostradumbass? How about this one then. Can you predict whether you should be punched in the back of the head or have a foot shoved up your ass? Please, if you are a Fucktard, go back to your kindergarten teachings and try to learn something. Either that or don’t complain when someone does their duty and flattens you under a bus.

Just Do Your Fucking Job

Why can’t people just do their fucking jobs? Due to the nature of my work, I cannot get into specifics about what I do. Suffice to say that I have a position of some authority and part of the responsibilities of my organization are to assist other companies in troubleshooting certain areas of their work. A couple of weeks ago, I was called in to review a situation at a company and give them a response on what I found. I completed this and sent them a report on what they did incorrectly and gave suggestions on what they could do to correct the issues. I received a response from the person in charge of their company thanking me for doing the review and stating that they would take my suggestions and look at improving what I found to be wrong. This is fine. This is what I expect. This is why I went there in the first place. Since that time, I have received a phone call every day from a variety of Fucktards in this company (who are all lower than the head of the company). If they were calling me to ask for suggestions on how to implement what I told them, or ask for further clarification, this would be fine. This would be part of my job. But No. These Fuckatrds have to call me everyday to whine and complain about everything. An example of some of the things I have had to hear follows:

 

1. We don’t really agree with how you wrote the report. It makes us look like we did not do anything that we were supposed to. Answer: Well, you didn’t you stupid Fucktard. That’s why I wrote it.

 

2. We don’t really agree with the way that you looked at everything and how you came to your conclusion. Answer: I don’t care if you agree with it. It is not like I make this shit up on some whim and decide to tell you about it just to fuck with you. It is based on a specific set of rules that any company that does the same work as you has to follow. You know this. It is not new information. Your company has been in business for a long time and you have been in your position for a long time as well. All of your crying and whining about being caught for fucking up to me is not going to change this. I will not suddenly decide that you are right and change all of the rules for you because I like you. You annoy me in other aspects as well already so just deal with it.

 

3. In looking back at what I told you originally, I don’t think that I put it in the way that I liked and gave my side clearly. Answer: OK.. So what the fuck do you want me to do about that? Is it my fault that you cannot organize yourself and come up with a coherent thought? Is this now supposed to become my problem? I did not tell you what to say, you told me all of this yourself. It came out of your teeny head. I can assure you that incompetence on your part does not constitute a problem on my part. Just because you have had some time to think about it and come up with an explanation as to why you are a dumbass, doesn’t mean I have to listen to it now.

 

This is just an example of a few of the highly irritating conversations I have had. I have other work to do. I have finished with this situation and have moved on. Just fucking fix it. If you had done your fucking job right in the first place, then we would not have had to go through all of this shit and I would not have to hear your pitiful excuses as to why you couldn’t just do your job. It is because of Fucktards like this that there is a huge dent in the shape of my head on the top of my desk.

 

 

Fireman Fucktard

Let me start this out by saying that I have the utmost respect for firemen. It is a tough, dangerous job and anyone who does this for a living should be commended. However, like any other profession, there are a certain amount of Fucktards who are also firemen. So the power goes out in my house overnight the other day. When I get up in the morning to get ready for work, the power is still out and I cannot do most of my normal morning routine including making breakfast. I decide to go out and get some fast food crap so that I can eat and still be on time for work. I drive down the road toward the local strip of restaurants and when I come to an intersection, the lights are out and there are two firemen standing in the middle of the street. One of them comes over to the car and asks where I am going, so I reply "to CrapDonald’s to get some breakfast". His reply: "No, you ain’t". The he just stands there. And stands there. And stands there, by my window. After a minute or so, I have to ask the obvious question "Why not?" He says "Because the power is out all along this area and none of the restaurants are open", then goes back and stands in the middle of the intersection. Now, this seems to be a reasonable answer (even though he couldn’t think to tell me right away), so I wait for him to resume directing traffic. Why else would he be standing in the middle of an intersection where the lights are out? I still don’t know what he was doing other than picking his ass, which I watched him do several times. I guess he was hot just standing in the middle of an intersection in the morning in his fire proof pants and T-Shirt. I waited a good 5-10 minutes watching Gomer Pyle pick his ass and stare off into space while there are now cars 3-4 deep at each part of the intersection. Now you may ask what the second fireman was doing. I ask the same question. He appeared to be doing nothing except sit on the curb watching the other Fucktard picking his ass too. After waiting a while, I decided to take things into my own hands and turned up another street so that I could go somewhere else. You may think that Fireman Fucktard would have noticed this as I had to drive right past him to do so. No, he doesn’t notice. He just continues to pick his ass and stare into space. I actually went back to that intersection after work, just to check and see if he was still there. I guess someone finally told him to go home. I don’t think he could have figured that idea out on his own. If my house ever catches on fire, I hope they put this dipshit on traffic duty again and let the real firemen do their jobs. Maybe that was why he was sent there in the first place.

The Stupidest Thing I Have Ever Heard

I worked with a chick I’ll dub as Rainbow Brite because she is very concerned with calling herself an artist… but not worried that the art she creates is below average. We worked in an independent style business where I was her boss and she didn’t do anything I said. It worked best when I ignored it, but often the fucktard issue couldn’t be ignored.

 

Which brings me to today’s rant, mainly for the humor factor. It’s been quite a while ago since this happened, but it still can crack me up anytime I think of it. Rainbow Brite had a way of flaunting her stupidity like she was almost proud of it. She’d sometimes like to get into religious or historical discussions and she knew nothing about either. She once told me she couldn’t wait to watch Pearl Harbor so she could learn some history. I said, "Gee Rainbow you know that’s actually fiction right?" and she responded with, "well yeah but I can still learn about history".

 

Probably around the time of the Iraq War starting I was explaining to her some of the horrific crimes that Saddam had committed against his own people. She did not know ANY of this, she did not even know where the Middle East WAS. So she listened as I wove her a story as if it were a movie, something she could understand. Her response was and I am quoting it EXACTLY.

 

Rainbow Brite: "ooooooh so it’s kinda like oh, what’s that movie called"?

Vulgar: "um what movie?".

Rainbow Brite: "oh you know which one I mean".

Vulgar: "um no I don’t. Tell me some tidbit about it and I’ll probably know".

Rainbow Brite: "oh what is the name of it? Damnit. The one about the Jewish Times".

Vulgar: "The JEWISH TIMES? What the hell are you talking about".

Rainbow Brite" yeah you know the one about the Jewish Times".

Vulgar: "Rainbow. Do you mean the HOLOCAUST?"

Rainbow Brite: "that might be it, what else".

Vulgar: "you mean like World War II? The Holocaust? Was the movie you meant Schindler’s List?".

Rainbow Brite: "that’s the name of it".

 

I kid you not. This is 100% true. The woman was 43 years old and did not know about WWII or the Holocaust.just a movie.

You Are Not That Important

Listen up Fucktards. This is a necessary announcement that someone may have never told you. YOU ARE NOT THAT FUCKING IMPORTANT. The world does not revolve around you. What you say will not ultimately show any improvement in the social fabric or life on this earth in general. Since you now know this, this means that you can shut the fuck up and quit talking on a cell phone to any other Fucktard every second of your life no matter where you are. Unless you are the leader of a nation or otherwise have to make important life or death situations at a moments notice, you do not have to be able to be contacted 24 hours a day by any butt-reaming dipshit that knows you. Now, let me point out that I do own a cell phone. I use it for work. When I am not working, my cell phone sits on a desk in my home. When I am not working, I do not take it with me to places such as the store, the movies, the park, driving in my car, etc. Basically I do not take it anyplace where if it happens to ring, I do not talk on it about my inconsequential life and what mundane thing that I happen to be doing at the time to any other Fucktard who happened to want to talk to me, so that every other person in the immediate area can also hear about my pitiful existence. This is because I am not a Fucktard. Far be it for you Fucktards to go away and talk somewhere that you cannot be overheard. No, you think that you are that important that the rest of the world needs to accommodate you. You then expect people to give you some privacy when you are talking on the phone. In case you did not know it, the definition of the word PUBLIC is the complete opposite of PRIVATE. If you want to talk in private, go somewhere that you can do so like your own fucking home. That way you don’t annoy the rest of the world in public who can get along just fine without hearing how you can’t decide if skim or 2% milk is better or that your friend’s sister’s neighbor said something that you didn’t like. I was at a video store looking to rent a movie when this Fucktard was in the same aisle as me talking on a cell phone about the movies that were available to some other Fucktard. Every time I moved away from them, they would follow me into the next aisle and stand right next to me. This chattering magpie then seemed to get annoyed when I started making loud disgusted noises because I was interrupting HER phone conversation. Get off your fat ass and come down to the video store to look at movies yourself if you want to watch one. Don’t send the loudest fucking moron to tell you what is available. Better yet, all of you just stay home so I don’t have to hear from any of you. That way, you can take any call you want from any other Fucktard in their home and not disturb anyone. The same goes for driving. There are laws against talking on a phone while driving for a reason. That is because you Fucktards cannot walk and think at the same time, so what makes you think you can talk on a phone and drive at the same time? I guess you were walking when that bright idea hit and you couldn’t pay attention at the time. Since there were a lot of words in between my first statement and now, and whenever you learn something new, something old falls out of your pointed little heads, let me reiterate – YOU ARE NOT THAT FUCKING IMPORTANT. The world does not revolve around you. What you say will not ultimately show any improvement in the social fabric or life on this earth in general. Since you now know this again, this means that you can shut the fuck up and quit talking on a cell phone to other Fucktards every second of your life no matter where you are. Take this as a mantra. Repeat it to yourself many, many times. Hopefully one day it will sink in through the sludge you call your brain.

Put the Damn Shopping Cart Back

Ok fucktards. Here is a tip about your manners while in public, because this just truly pisses me off to no end. You go to the grocery store, you get your shopping cart filled, and then go through the check out line. Everything is fine, you may not have even annoyed anyone in the store. But your manners are not done fuck wad. After you load up your piece of shit car put the SHOPPING CART in the cart return. You know that area with the beams and big sign that says RETURN CART HERE? That’s what it is for. Gawd this annoys me. Don’t leave it at the end either, push it IN as far as you can so others can use the cart return properly too without having to clean up your mess. Why is this so difficult? You probably didn’t mind gobbling up the free samples, asking cashiers and clerks stupid questions, so do the poor staff a favor and help keep their job easier.