If you have read any of my previous postings, you may have figured out that there are things that irritate me from time to time. (If you are not a fucktard that is). I saw a gentleman the other day that combined several of my pet peeves all in one. An ultimate combo fucktard if you will. Anyway, I was trudging my way across the bridge to work and trying to block out the world like I do every day. In my travels I see a person sitting on the side of the bridge with their little cup sitting in front of them and a sign. Now, this is not unusual, and I have written about not wanting to give people my money before. The sign that this gentleman had said “Homeless and Hungry Vietnam Veteran”. Underneath this, the sign said, “Get out of Iraq Now”. Now, first of all, it irritates the hell out of me when someone tries to push their political or religious beliefs off on me and it irritates me even more so that this was coming from some douchebag begging me for money. You can’t get a job and you think that I want to hear your opinion on anything? Before any of the veterans get upset with me because they feel that I wouldn’t understand the sentiment without having been there, let me finish my story. Then we’ll see who the fucktard was. Anyway, I am looking at this guy and his sign and notice something that seems off about the situation. I look closer and then it hits me. The fucktard looks to be in his late thirties MAYBE early forties. (For those of you who may not understand what I mean (read Fucktard) he would have had to be under 5 to have been in Vietnam.) So now I have a lying, politics spouting, unemployed shit rag begging me for money. But wait, there’s more. The story gets even better. In my examination of him, I originally thought that he was sitting there holding his head in his hands. In looking closer (only looking mind you, because if I actually moved closer the smell would have killed me), I discovered that he has not held his head in his hands, he was, in fact, Talking on a cell phone! So now we have I have a lying, politics spouting, unemployed shit rag begging me for money and talking on a cell phone in public. The Ultimate Combo Fucktard. However, this got me thinking. Why would a bum need a cell phone? Who is he going to call? Other bums? Obviously, he is not calling work ““ maybe he is calling his family. But then, if he has some family to call on the phone, why doesn’t he do something like I don’t know, live with them or ask them for money or food. Then I thought that maybe instead of paying the monthly bill, he could just buy food. I also started thinking that maybe I could start a business where I would trade food for the leftover minutes that all the bums with cell phones had at the end of the month and resell them for a profit to all of the other fucktards who have to jabber constantly on a phone. But I digress. Then figured that he may have a good idea. I mean after all, if someone needs to get in contact with him, his best option would be a cell phone. It is pretty certain that they could not call his house and leave a message.
Fucktard Rants 