I Can’t Even Title this one Because it’s so Stupid

Tonight on the news they told some horrible story about a guy that stabbed his dog and how he was arrested for animal cruelty. This is one of those stories that makes you feel terrible for the animal as you know the owner was a piece of trash and probably took shitty care of it before he killed it. It just made me sick. The news people spoke to eye witnesses who were fucktards.

“Yeah, I seen him come out of the house with dis big knife and went over to the dog. I mean it was a really big big knife too kinda like a ninja” — Quote Fucktard

I couldn’t make that up if I tried.

Fucktards on The News (Again)

There has been a trend the past few years in the area that I live whereby they have been closing and consolidating some of the local schools.  Hopefully, this is because there are less Fucktards breeding, but that is not the point of this rant.  Some of the closed schools have been changed into other uses.  One of the schools had been changed into a day care center for children.  On the news the other day there was this Fucktard who had an issue with this.  The issue was not with the school being changed into a daycare center, in fact, she was utilizing this.  The issue she had was that, since the school closed, they would no longer turn on the school 15 MPH signs in the morning and afternoon.  The state said that according to the regulations, schools are defined as K-12.  Since this building no longer housed K-12 students, it was not considered a school and they would be in violation of state mandates if they turned on the signs.  Makes sense to me, but then again I am not a Fucktard.

Personally, I couldn’t give a shit less one way or the other if these signs are flashing or not.  However, this Fucktard has an issue with this.  An issue so big that she decided to air it on the news.  In public.  So that everyone could see what a freaking raging imbecile that she is.  Now, this little chickie could not have been more than 22 years old.  Scratch that.  The only thing little about this Fucktard was her IQ.  So here is this mental midget saying that she thinks the lights should be turned on anyway because (and I quote) The kids going to schools are all over five years old and know better than to run out into the street.  These are two and three-year-olds who don’t know better than to not run out in the street.

Now, I am going to assume that Fucktard is not allowing her 2-3-year-old to walk to this daycare on their own (you never know with Fucktards, but I hope she is not).  Would this then not make it YOUR fucking responsibility to make sure that your child does not run out into the street??  Can you let go of the moon pie for 10 seconds to hold your child’s hand and cross the street safely with them?  Most of these former schools have big parking spaces in front of the doors where I see most people dropping their children off so that they are not near the street.  Do you want one of these in front of your house too so that you can grow fatter while not paying any attention to your kids?  If you are dumb enough to let your 2-3 year old (who by your statement you know is likely to run into the street) alone and not pay attention to them, when a car comes up the road, it will not matter if they are doing 15 or 50, when they run in front of it and get hit, they are going to get hurt.  I am sure that you will then try to blame the state for your lack of parental skills.  When did it become the state’s responsibility to make sure you are not so fucking stupid and take care of YOUR kids?  You are the one who spawned.  You are responsible for their safety.  Now, while I am sure that at some point the state WILL be responsible for the well-being and safety of this Fucktard’s kids, but why invite them in beforehand?  I am amazed that I don’t throw more shit at my TV when I see idiots like this on the news.

Stupid Parents Create Stupid Children

Oprah did a show on Friday about “Mom’s Who Can’t Say No”. That was the title of the episode but it should have been “Stop Being a Fucktard Parent”. It was about how spoiling our children is actually bad for them. The experts said that giving them everything they want makes them feel entitled, causes children not to appreciate things, makes them have no work ethic, and that it ruins their lives.

Hello? Do people have their brains on at all? No fucking shit. Why does Oprah have to even explain this to anyone? This was real, this had to be an actual Oprah lesson because so many fucktards keep reproducing yet have no clue how to create a good thoughtful productive human being. What killed me is there were working professional articulate parents that were destroying their kids and they were acting as if they had no idea! Do people realize it takes more skill then FUCKING to be a parent?

I am almost 37 years old, my mother used to lecture me on a “bad” behavior and when she did she told me “it was for my own good”. She told me that when I grew up I’d understand and be a better person for it when she had to punish me. I can’t believe my mother actually wanted me to grow up and do right by society, by her, by my own friends and family.

What the hell is wrong with people that we have to watch a tv talk show to tell us how make our kids generous people instead of selfish ones? Have we lost all common sense in the United States? Now, all we need is a talk show to tell the people “if you are a fucktard then don’t have children”. And truthfully that would solve the problem too.

We Live in a Disposable World

I realize that we live in a disposable world and everything is being made to be convenient. This ranges from microwaveable food to disposable plates, to disposable cameras, etc. But I have a real problem with everything being disposable. There is a commercial that irritates the hell out of me every time that I see it. It is for some Ford and shows a family with two kids driving out into the country. They are stopping at various places, getting ice cream and appear to be having a very good time. At the end of the commercial the guy gets out of the car and thanks them for inviting him, hugs his kids, tells them that he will see them next weekend and returns to his bachelor condo. What the fuck is this? Are we so jaded now that it is perfectly OK to promote the fact that even marriage is disposable? I realize that there is a very high divorce rate now, but this has to be attributed to the fact that Fucktards cannot make an intelligent decision about anything even who to marry. I may seem to be old-fashioned in my thinking, but I chose someone that I was in love with to marry and didn’t get married until I was sure that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with them – Not just focus on having a big wedding to show off for everyone and get divorced if it doesn’t work out. This fucktarded thinking seems to permeate our society now. I have a wedding anniversary coming up and I looked up the list of symbolic wedding gifts. There is now a "Modern" version of this. For example, what used to be given for a Fifteenth wedding anniversary (Crystal) is now given for THIRD wedding anniversary. You used to have to be married for twenty years to get China, now you only have to be married for TWO. What kind of fucked up thinking is this? You are supposed to give appliances at a fourth wedding anniversary. When did a blender become an acceptable means of showing affection? This used to be a bad joke on men who couldn’t buy their wives an acceptable gift. When did the Fucktards take over the world and turn something that is supposed to be based on love and working together, into a way to gouge your friends and relatives into giving you expensive gifts? Sorry, we’ve been married for two and a half years and since I am tired of you I am taking the China. By the way, you also get the pay off the $200,000 bill that we spent to show off for our friends on the wedding because that was more important than finding out if I actually wanted to be with you or not. I agree with having things be more convenient, but it would be nice to see something still have some value in the world.

The News is the Funniest Thing on TV

I’m not a "news"person by nature, but I do try to force myself to watch it occasionally to keep up with what is going on in the world. I don’t want to turn into a fucktard of course. I have two basic rants of local TV News reporters. I can’t imagine this only happens in my own area but it’s possible we breed ’em extra dumb around here.

Number 1 Stop pretending you have a damn personality. I don’t like it, you piss me off, and it bores me. I don’t want to hear about your stupid children, your weekend plans, your "in"jokes, weddings you’ve gone to and etc. I’m TRYING to get to the NEWS for God’s sake. All these topics have been on my local news channel this week from stupid chick reporters that all need a serious makeover.. Shut up gawd. Report the news, do your job, and piss off. You have no personality anyway. You are trying way too hard to be likable and all it does it make me more disgusted.

Number 2 Get a journalism degree. Oh, you say you HAVE one. Then take the public speaking class again you stuttering stumbling fool. My lord they cannot go through a 30 minute newscast without sounding like a fucktard. I don’t get this. It’s your career, get your shit together. A frickin’ heart surgeon doesn’t get the shakes every 30 minutes and get to keep his/her job. The point is there are plenty of other professions out there that educated people manage to do without constant fuck ups.

I know what you are thinking (unless you are a fucktard and just drooling) you are thinking "well this is why they are only local news reporters". I tell myself this too all the time, but it continues to annoy me anyway.

Fucktards Cannot Tie Their Shoes

OK here is something that has always bothered me. Have you ever noticed when there has been a bad car accident (or a motorcycle accident or some Fucktard fulfills their ultimate destiny and falls off of a bridge) that, when they show this on the news, the camera always zooms in on a shoe lying by the side of the road. What the Fuck. Now this is not ever a sandal or penny loafer or other type of shoe that is a slip on it is always a tennis shoe or work boot or something that you tie. Now I have been in a couple of car accidents in my life, but during each one of these, my shoes have NEVER flown off my feet and magically went out of the window. Yet they are always on the news. My theory is that either the news people carry extra shoes in the vans (or the camera man is standing in his socks) for the purpose of pointing out just how bad this occasion was and how you should feel sorry (which in my mind makes them even bigger Fucktards than the talking heads already are) or Fucktards cannot tie their shoes. Since they cannot tie their shoes (or they can’t figure out which foot they go on so they don’t wear them and leave them on the back seat) they fly off when they do something stupid and hurt someone. In order to cut down on idiots causing bad traffic accidents, you should be able to prove that you can tie your shoes before you can get your license. That way all of the dumbasses who cannot tie their shoes will be off of the road and there will be less problems. There will most likely be very few people on the roads at that point because most of the people that I see are Fucktards in some way. This of course won’t affect the morons who fall off of bridges, but what the hell, this is just natural selection anyway.

 

The other issue that I have with the news is that whenever something happens, they always pick the most backasswards, toothless shit-for-brains to interview about it. If I wanted to hear an opinion about what occurred, I certainly want to hear it from someone who can put more than three fucking words together in a sentence. I think that the only reason that this happens is because either Cletus is the only one who wants to be on the news, so he can brag to the other Beverly Hillbillys, or they interview people during the day when all Non-Fucktards are doing something useful for society like working. There is nothing better than a good ol’ out-of-work Fucktard dialog about the state of today’s world and all of its ills. They always have to make a point of saying when someone dies in a drive by shooting that "they were the nicest person" or "they never did anything to anyone" (all language and grammar semi-corrected so that it can be understood in this post of course). WRONG. If they knew you then they were just as big of a Fucktard as you are. It would probably take about ten minutes to find a lot of people who thought that they were a big dickhead and saw it coming. We all know that they wouldn’t have been punished if they hadn’t been doing something wrong. A couple of months ago I was watching a segment on the news where someone had been killed in "accidental" drive by shooting. They showed these two 900 pound women hugging each other and crying. Now I may have found this poignant and it may have touched my callous heart if BOTH of these mammoth behemoths weren’t talking on a cell phone at the same time. HOW FUCKING SHALLOW CAN YOU BE? Here you just lost someone who was supposed to be close to you. You are letting your emotions out on television, and you are calling aunt Bertha to let her know you are on TV. I hate the news.