I Don’t Care About Your Mom

Alright, my fans know I have to hire fucktards to do a super easy job that none of them can seem to do. I’d rather work with monkeys, even really pissed off ones with wings instead of these dumb asses.

Turdbrain has been spoken about before. You can read that old stuff about the way the sky confuses her here for some background. If you don’t feel like reading it, that’s ok I can sum it up for you with 4 very small words…. She…. Is…. An…..Idiot.

Turdbrain is the worst kind of idiot.. she is a passive aggressive fucktard. So the more you push her to DO to meet the requirements of keeping her job…. the more EXCUSES you get, and with the excuses come big long stories about her idiot life. I don’t CARE about her life, I am her manager, not her friend. I want her to shut her up and work, to be on time, and give me as little shit as possible. I want her to do well and make money, but I don’t want to be involved in her life.

As a prelude to this email, she sent me tonight… I should explain that she has worked for the company for six months at the time. Everyone in the office staff knows her problems; she has called off more times than she has worked. She has been late more times than she has been on time.  Twice I wrote her and said that “it’s obvious your life is hectic so let’s move you to a later shift so that you can be on time, be productive, and make money”. Doing this was as much for us, as it was for her.  She wanted to wait…. then proceeded to continue being late. Eventually, I told her tough shit, I was changing her schedule anyway.

Here is her email with bad spelling intact:

thank you, noted and APPRECIATED ….. and not a
moment too soon!

You’d think that with a short doctor’s appointment at
4 pm and taking her/mom back home (six miles TOTAL
travel) that I could easily be back home by 6 PM….
but, ah no, this is my MOTHER we’re talking about. I
came screetching in the driveway and tore into the
house at 7:40 to make sure I was signed in by 8:00pm
(my time) TRUSTING that you had already switched the
scheadule.
…….
Don’t ask me why mom had three bank cards but didn’t
know what a debit card is or how to use it. AND had to
know TONIGHT.

Don’t ask why the eye-glasses that she had an
emergency exam for and ordered two weeks ago (the ones
DUE today) had not been paid for and therefor had not
been ordered yet. [I dropped the ball on that one by
not checking back to confirm the payment.]

AND ESPECIALLY don’t ask how she got superglue on her
tongue! ……ack! [NOTE: luckily super-glue will peel
off a tongue if it’s not stuck to anything, {mumbling
here about angels and the grace of god etc} and if you
remove it soon enough….. ever scrape a tongue? it
moves…a LOT.]

lol and shaking my head …. it’s been a day!
Mom’s Alzhimers is not THAT bad (i keep telling
myself) lol the superglue was a “freak accident” but
dang my family has some of the most bizzare things
happen to it! lol

anyhow, thought you might see the humor in all
this….
sometimes you just gotta laugh …. or cry.

I choose to laugh. 😉

Well, Turdbrain I choose to ignore…. Don’t tell me all your problems. Everyone has their own, everyone gets their fair share.

 

 

 

Only a Man is This Dumb

I don’t just have a period like many women. It’s not my “friend” visiting. It’s the god damn red river that flows from me. I’m on the rag right now. I hate it, I have PMS and the last fucking thing I need is something to set me off.  But some fucktard has to come along and screw up my day. I did not even leave the house, but you don’t have to apparently. OK, so I have and use the brand Always Pads.  I open a clean pad out of the wrapper and go to the back to expose the tape. I can see something black inside my pad. WTF is that? It looked creepy enough that I wiggled it and it was stiff. Something was not right, and even a fucktard could tell that. I got a new pad, but I kept the weird one to show my husband later. A while later we both looked at it, we both had confused looks on our faces. We tore it open. Inside was black tape, kind of like duct tape for lack of a way to describe it. Some frickin moron at the PAD factory must have had a quota to meet to maintain their job. And accidentally cut my pad. In order to cover up the mistake, they made they literally TAPED it back together. Only a man can be this dumb. Not just any kind of man, but an unintelligent one. A fucktard man. Even a really stupid woman would not commit something THIS ridiculous. I am seeing a fat bald guy with glazed over eyes and puddles of spit at the corners of his mouth. Aren’t you? No one would believe me unless I supplied proof. So here it is.

 

Even my fucking PADS are not safe from fucktards. I am getting scared to eat anymore too.

 

Work Fucktards. I think they are the worst.

Where I work you don’t have to give any kind of explanation on why you need a day off or what’s ailing you, just make sure you call in.

Well, normal people understand this, but NOT FUCKTARDS. Not only can they not even call in on time and sometimes not at all they have to tell you every piece of drama that is going on in their life.

First of all, I don’t give a shit. We are not family, friends…hell I don’t even like you.

I have put off this rant about a certain co-worker long enough. She called in tonight, 45 minutes late, and proceeded to cough in my ear and then go on and on about all of her illnesses. “I am sorry I am late, but I have been having breathing problems.” I am asthmatic and I am insulin dependent diabetic. Of course, she was just getting home from somewhere and it wasn’t the hospital. Maybe her mother, the one that has Alzheimer’s, was driving her home from some shindig. Yes, her mother drives them places. That’s a scary thought. If it’s not her health it’s that she is doing something for her elderly mother with Alzheimer’s. She has to let us know that every fucking time she calls off also. All I know is my mother, whom I love with all my heart, is a terrible driver now. I sure wouldn’t get in the car with her if she had Alzheimer’s.

BTW, the jobs we do not require any physical activity what-so-ever.

 

Just When You Thought it was Safe

Things have been tolerable on the fucktard front lately. It’s one reason I haven’t posted in awhile. But something weird happened again to me today that forced me to write. This is a true story, the names have been changed but alas it is true. I couldn’t make this crap up if I tried.

I have to set the story up so you must know 2 things.

First, I am a freak magnet. I attract them like flies to shit. They spot me anywhere I might be, they talk to me because somehow I “look” like someone who gives a damn about their rambling nonsense. They find me, they always like me, and I always say that I am never leaving the house again because of it.

Second, I am a horror film fanatic to the ninth degree. I’m not a crazy escaped mental patient, but I do like to watch them kill a bunch of fucktards on tv. Call it a “fantasy”. My home and life are normal except for my game room. That’s where I store the collection of movies and have a few other weird collectibles. Most people who are not expecting this find it to be “charming”, or at least that’s what they say. At the very least it becomes a conversation.

On to the story.

I hate having “workmen” of any sort come to my home when my husband is not here. (see reason #1) They talk to me and they are always freaks. When my husband is home, they talk to him, but since he is a man they discuss the work they are doing. Me being a female means they have to find something else to say, and that just causes a door to open that I don’t want.

Today a workman fucktard came over for a reason that is irrelevant. He needed to plug in a saw down in my basement so I led him down the steps into my game room of “horrors”. I happened to look behind me to see him do a double take at my collection of Living Dead Dolls, and I laughed.

“Oh don’t freak out, my husband and I just love horror films”. I said

“Oh its ok, I think I was here before.” He responded.

Uneventful the topic should be done now. Right? No. Not with a fucktard. I showed him where to plug in his saw, and just before he was heading out to the truck to get it this conversation happened.

“You know it’s not the horror stuff that freaks me out in people’s houses. You know what really scares me is the Catholics”. He said.

“uh…… oh, I see”, I said in shock.

“Yeah, they have all those creepy looking statues and pictures on the wall”. He said with a straight face.

“Yeah”. I said.

“Yeah, and the other houses I hate to go into are the Arabs”. He said as he walked out the basement door.

I thought about telling him I was a Catholic and my husband was from Arab decent just to fuck with his mind, but then I thought better of it. He obviously didn’t have much of one. Instead, I went upstairs and hid from him. I couldn’t wait to get the freak out of my house. WTF!

Big Dumb Damn Donkey

One of the girls that work for me took Halloween and Trick or Treat off last night. She used AOL to Instant Message me and say she couldn’t work before 10 pm even though she had no children. She had to be there to answer the door. I mentioned that Trick or Treating is usually from 6-8pm to her. She said, “Oh no, it runs until 10 pm here.” I would love to know what fucktard community runs trick or treat until 10 pm on a school night. Kids coming home at 10 pm need more time sort through their candy, clean up their costumes, run off their sugar high, and then get ready for bed. She was, of course, full of it. She was late again today. She used AOL again versus calling and actually talking to someone. So she was late, but then she starts to babble…..

she said….. turdbrain2 [6:23 P.M.]: the sky gets so dark so early now that it confuses me

She is confused alright. But the sky did not cause it. What an ass!

Shut Up and Do Your Job

I have a rant about cashiers at grocery stores. It’s simple, just 2 things: stopping looking at my stuff, and stop talking to me. Now let’s review.

I do my shopping on Saturdays during my day off. I have been waiting in line behind several fucktards to get out of the store, and they have probably pissed me off. I am now exhausted from the whole shopping experience and I am in a hurry when I finally get up to the register. Ring up my stuff and pack the damn bags. Don’t leisurely look through my groceries reading what each item is. And God help you if you ask me about it. If looks could kill, you’d be in deep shit. Do your shopping on your own time and quit using my purchases as a new means to product discovery! My groceries do not want your cruddy money touching germy hands all over them while you study them. Oh, and forget about making stupid jokes. I don’t want to hear about your day either. My favorite cashiers are the ones who keep their eyes on the register, work quickly, and keep their mouths shut.

Drama Queen

I wrote a rant about one of my staff before. Please read the Fat Ass post to know the dipshit I am dealing with. This woman is a total drama queen, the excuse princess, and her life must be pretty difficult as you will see. She also calls “off” constantly despite the fact that she has the weekends off.

Yesterday the Drama Queen emailed me to let me know that during her days off she was in the hospital for walking pneumonia. She was feeling better she said, and her cough was tons better but she was taking the night off. She said she needed rest because during her 3 days in the hospital that they came in every 20 minutes to take her blood pressure, to take her blood, or to make her do breathing tests. It apparently exhausted her to lay in a bed.

I don’t know what hospital it is but damn they give good care. When I was in the hospital a few years ago in the ICU unit mind you, I had to buzz for the nurses. They weren’t showing up every 20 minutes for the ICU unit. And 3 days hospital stay for walking pneumonia? Whoa, that’s good insurance she has! My 70 yr old father with his heart condition and pacemaker had full blown pneumonia and they only kept him overnight.

So, basically the Drama Queen had 3 days of laying in the hospital doing nothing, and she needed rest from that. Doesn’t her fat ass kid keep her busier in a normal day with all his head injuries? Surely she should need more rest from that reject, right?

Another time she told me she was in the hospital this year (yes apparently she spends a lot of time there between her problems and the fat ass kids) it was for some queer stomach issue that she didn’t name to me. But she did tell me her doctor told her she should have bed rest for a week. I want her insurance, her hospital, and her damn doctor because mine usually just writes me a prescription and tells me to go back to my normal routines.. like my job.

I feel like I run a fucktarded special education class instead of a business.

Stop Touching Things

In the past I worked with a girl I call Rainbow Brite. She was a complete drooling fucktard in every way. One of her stupid stunts was that she had to "stick her hand in the cookie jar" constantly.

She’d be given a tool to use for work, a Microsoft Database or an Excel spreadsheet that was pre-made to use. The intention was to organize her stupid ass, and all she had to do was physically input information and then leave it alone. But she was a "picker", she was "nosy" about shit she didn’t even understand. She actually thought she was smart enough to learn or figure things out so she would start clicking around and making changes. She always wanted to change things to make it HER way rather than what everyone else did/used. Eventually she’d fuck it all up of course. This brilliant action happened CONSTANTLY and for someone who wanted to learn so badly – she never seemed to get the real lesson involved which was "leave it ALONE dumb ass". This always, as you might guess, created more work for her (because now you have to start all over) and for me. The latter is what pissed me off to no end. If you are such a fucktard that you don’t mind having to do everything twice and wasting weeks of time repairing your stupid mistakes then fine. But don’t involve ME or anyone else in your nonsense. I’m busy actually working and doing my job you dipshit. Rainbow Brite went away, quit because she got tired of being yelled at for all of HER stupid mistakes. I had a party.

This little story brings me to my current situation. A new receptionist who is VERY part time was brought back after she had created a drama and quit impulsively 2 years ago. If I was the owner I would not take this type of person back, but I don’t have that control so it’s not my choice. So I will make the best of it. She has been back now almost 3 weeks.

This receptionist I will names as The Instigator, because ultimately that’s what she is. a little bit of a trouble maker. She isn’t by any means stupid, yet she is still fast proving herself to be a fucktard.

We use a special database that gets used as one huge file and it is passed to each receptionist daily as a "live" file. It’s always updated this way and it’s just how we do things. This file contains everything for our business, including payroll information and the exact commissions that our contractors have earned. I almost never have a live file, I use it only to check on things after it is done, because I am the manager; I oversee what they input into it.

Last week the Instigator told me she deleted some files that are in the Administrative area (mine) AFTER she did it. She said it nonchalantly, so I got what she said, but didn’t feel it was a major issue even though I didn’t like it right away. I just felt she was overstepping the line. The next day I got a copy of the updated file and she had deleted tons of shit I had in it, for a reason. I know this is a shock; but sometimes a manager does know what they are doing, sometimes there is a reason they do something.

Of course this created a huge amount of work for me. I had to print out all the old notes, and now I was forced to decide what needed to be returned. Since I don’t have a "live" file I had to impose on another receptionist to replace all these notes. It got fixed, and back to what the MANAGER (me) wanted. I then sent an email to the Instigator explain that she is not to touch the admin area again and my reasons for it. It was polite and I told her it was my fault that I misunderstood it when she told me. I took part of the blame, even though I did nothing wrong. I did not HAVE to explain myself because I am her boss, but I did so that it made sense why she shouldn’t do it again. She of course started to gossip with another receptionist and told her how MEAN I was to her. She took it VERY personally that she fucked up MY job. What an idiot. For me, I laughed, it only made me see her as The Instigator even more.

Last night.. Guess what Instigator did? She started with her nosy picking AGAIN after she was told to knock it off politely. She, like Rainbow Brite, has to mess with shit that they don’t know anything about or the things that do not concern her. The Instigator had to call me on my TIME OFF to confess that she messed with the file and now fucked up payroll for some of the contractors! Again, more time is involved for me to repair the damage that some jack off did. More time I have to impose on another receptionist etc. Leave it ALONE Instigator. Stop it! Quite touching stuff!

The Instigator is NOT a stupid person. She is not a drooling incompetent idiot like Rainbow Brite was. The Instigator is actually a lot SMARTER, but apparently has her own little control issues. Not ALL fucktards are low IQ dummies, some are fucktards in "secret". Some fucktards are smart people that do fucktarded things. Just stop it damn it.

Fat Ass Gets an Injury

One of the contractors that works under me, whom I’ll name today as the Drama Queen is so fucktarded. Ok, so let’s review this simple concept: when you are an independent contractor you pretty much get to select your schedule and then you work it. If you can’t work for any reason they just call the office and let someone know.

Drama Queen can’t be on time no matter what hours she selects. I can’t figure it out, but she is always 15 minutes late no matter how it’s adjusted. But what is worse are the weird detailed excuses that she feels compelled to tell EVERYONE and ANYONE at the office who will listen. This below is a real email she sent to me and the reason she couldn’t work her shift.

Last night my son had an unfortunate accident at baseball practice, they were playing tag, out of the blue John (the coaches son, he’s 5) called Horace a “fat ass”, well Horace threw dirt at him, so John picked up a huge stick and rammed it right between Horace’s eyes, there was blood everywhere! Just two weeks ago my husband had our son to the ER because the “SAME” little boy hit Horace (IN THE SAME SPOT) with a smaller stick!

Then he walked away clean, with only a boo-boo on his forehead, this time, however, we didn’t get that lucky, this time it resulted in a slight concussion and he has had to be kept up for 12 hours (7:30 will be 12), I have been racking my brains trying to keep him up all night ~ Last time I had to keep him up because of a head injury he wasn’t in any pain and I was able to turn him loose with his Playstation 2, sit back and watch but this time he hurts to bad to play and believe me when he turns down video games I know he’s hurting bad.

As much as I enjoy watching Horace play, this year I am very anxious for it to be over! Thank goodness there are only 2 more weeks of the season, yay!

My hubby’s up & with him now so I could write to you &the receptionist.

Also here is 2 pics I snapped with our cell phone (their not the greatest) & uploaded so you can see where he was hit, btw don’t let the smile fool yea, he always smiles for a camera no matter how much pain he’s in or how ill ~ He’s just very vain for 7yrs old, lol!

So I took a look at these photos this is not the last time that kid will be called FAT ASS. It won’t be the last time he gets poked between the eyes with a stick either.

Just Do Your Fucking Job

Why can’t people just do their fucking jobs? Due to the nature of my work, I cannot get into specifics about what I do. Suffice to say that I have a position of some authority and part of the responsibilities of my organization are to assist other companies in troubleshooting certain areas of their work. A couple of weeks ago, I was called in to review a situation at a company and give them a response on what I found. I completed this and sent them a report on what they did incorrectly and gave suggestions on what they could do to correct the issues. I received a response from the person in charge of their company thanking me for doing the review and stating that they would take my suggestions and look at improving what I found to be wrong. This is fine. This is what I expect. This is why I went there in the first place. Since that time, I have received a phone call every day from a variety of Fucktards in this company (who are all lower than the head of the company). If they were calling me to ask for suggestions on how to implement what I told them, or ask for further clarification, this would be fine. This would be part of my job. But No. These Fuckatrds have to call me everyday to whine and complain about everything. An example of some of the things I have had to hear follows:

 

1. We don’t really agree with how you wrote the report. It makes us look like we did not do anything that we were supposed to. Answer: Well, you didn’t you stupid Fucktard. That’s why I wrote it.

 

2. We don’t really agree with the way that you looked at everything and how you came to your conclusion. Answer: I don’t care if you agree with it. It is not like I make this shit up on some whim and decide to tell you about it just to fuck with you. It is based on a specific set of rules that any company that does the same work as you has to follow. You know this. It is not new information. Your company has been in business for a long time and you have been in your position for a long time as well. All of your crying and whining about being caught for fucking up to me is not going to change this. I will not suddenly decide that you are right and change all of the rules for you because I like you. You annoy me in other aspects as well already so just deal with it.

 

3. In looking back at what I told you originally, I don’t think that I put it in the way that I liked and gave my side clearly. Answer: OK.. So what the fuck do you want me to do about that? Is it my fault that you cannot organize yourself and come up with a coherent thought? Is this now supposed to become my problem? I did not tell you what to say, you told me all of this yourself. It came out of your teeny head. I can assure you that incompetence on your part does not constitute a problem on my part. Just because you have had some time to think about it and come up with an explanation as to why you are a dumbass, doesn’t mean I have to listen to it now.

 

This is just an example of a few of the highly irritating conversations I have had. I have other work to do. I have finished with this situation and have moved on. Just fucking fix it. If you had done your fucking job right in the first place, then we would not have had to go through all of this shit and I would not have to hear your pitiful excuses as to why you couldn’t just do your job. It is because of Fucktards like this that there is a huge dent in the shape of my head on the top of my desk.

 

 

Fireman Fucktard

Let me start this out by saying that I have the utmost respect for firemen. It is a tough, dangerous job and anyone who does this for a living should be commended. However, like any other profession, there are a certain amount of Fucktards who are also firemen. So the power goes out in my house overnight the other day. When I get up in the morning to get ready for work, the power is still out and I cannot do most of my normal morning routine including making breakfast. I decide to go out and get some fast food crap so that I can eat and still be on time for work. I drive down the road toward the local strip of restaurants and when I come to an intersection, the lights are out and there are two firemen standing in the middle of the street. One of them comes over to the car and asks where I am going, so I reply "to CrapDonald’s to get some breakfast". His reply: "No, you ain’t". The he just stands there. And stands there. And stands there, by my window. After a minute or so, I have to ask the obvious question "Why not?" He says "Because the power is out all along this area and none of the restaurants are open", then goes back and stands in the middle of the intersection. Now, this seems to be a reasonable answer (even though he couldn’t think to tell me right away), so I wait for him to resume directing traffic. Why else would he be standing in the middle of an intersection where the lights are out? I still don’t know what he was doing other than picking his ass, which I watched him do several times. I guess he was hot just standing in the middle of an intersection in the morning in his fire proof pants and T-Shirt. I waited a good 5-10 minutes watching Gomer Pyle pick his ass and stare off into space while there are now cars 3-4 deep at each part of the intersection. Now you may ask what the second fireman was doing. I ask the same question. He appeared to be doing nothing except sit on the curb watching the other Fucktard picking his ass too. After waiting a while, I decided to take things into my own hands and turned up another street so that I could go somewhere else. You may think that Fireman Fucktard would have noticed this as I had to drive right past him to do so. No, he doesn’t notice. He just continues to pick his ass and stare into space. I actually went back to that intersection after work, just to check and see if he was still there. I guess someone finally told him to go home. I don’t think he could have figured that idea out on his own. If my house ever catches on fire, I hope they put this dipshit on traffic duty again and let the real firemen do their jobs. Maybe that was why he was sent there in the first place.

The Stupidest Thing I Have Ever Heard

I worked with a chick I’ll dub as Rainbow Brite because she is very concerned with calling herself an artist… but not worried that the art she creates is below average. We worked in an independent style business where I was her boss and she didn’t do anything I said. It worked best when I ignored it, but often the fucktard issue couldn’t be ignored.

 

Which brings me to today’s rant, mainly for the humor factor. It’s been quite a while ago since this happened, but it still can crack me up anytime I think of it. Rainbow Brite had a way of flaunting her stupidity like she was almost proud of it. She’d sometimes like to get into religious or historical discussions and she knew nothing about either. She once told me she couldn’t wait to watch Pearl Harbor so she could learn some history. I said, "Gee Rainbow you know that’s actually fiction right?" and she responded with, "well yeah but I can still learn about history".

 

Probably around the time of the Iraq War starting I was explaining to her some of the horrific crimes that Saddam had committed against his own people. She did not know ANY of this, she did not even know where the Middle East WAS. So she listened as I wove her a story as if it were a movie, something she could understand. Her response was and I am quoting it EXACTLY.

 

Rainbow Brite: "ooooooh so it’s kinda like oh, what’s that movie called"?

Vulgar: "um what movie?".

Rainbow Brite: "oh you know which one I mean".

Vulgar: "um no I don’t. Tell me some tidbit about it and I’ll probably know".

Rainbow Brite: "oh what is the name of it? Damnit. The one about the Jewish Times".

Vulgar: "The JEWISH TIMES? What the hell are you talking about".

Rainbow Brite" yeah you know the one about the Jewish Times".

Vulgar: "Rainbow. Do you mean the HOLOCAUST?"

Rainbow Brite: "that might be it, what else".

Vulgar: "you mean like World War II? The Holocaust? Was the movie you meant Schindler’s List?".

Rainbow Brite: "that’s the name of it".

 

I kid you not. This is 100% true. The woman was 43 years old and did not know about WWII or the Holocaust.just a movie.

Assume makes an ass out of u and me

Ok another one of my pet peeves is the way fucktarded people in your life make assumptions about what you do, what your motivation is, and yet they never even ask. I worked with a fucktard (Rainbow Brite) for years that constantly made assumptions. We were once good friends until I could longer handle the ridiculousness. Anyway here is a sample of one of those conversations.

Vulgar says: "Yes my goal with the blog on our business website is to make sure it has fresh content which gets us more exposure, and listed on more directories".

Fucktard says: "oooooh I ASSumed you were just doing it cuz you were just thinking up more work to do and I can’t handle all that".

If you happen to be a fucktard and your boss or work associate asks you to do something anything, there is probably a very logical reason. If the scope of your thinking is so narrow to imagine that people invent work for literally no reason then you may need to see a shrink for more then "just a consultation". And good grief if you really don’t know, then ASK a simple question. Because if you ASSUME then you’ll make an ASS out of U and Me but mainly YOU.

 

She’d Fuck That Up Too

 

Ok I have another work rant. I hired a chick for the low man on the totem pole job at the company I work for. These are work at home positions, and all you pretty much have to do is answer the phone when it rings and help the customer with what they want/ask for. A monkey could do it, in fact there are other monkeys working under me as I type this that seem to do their job just fine.

So I hire Amanda. She has experience, a pleasant speaking voice, and the ability to combine words together in to sentences which are the main requirements. But I am such a strict boss and the company policy is also strict we require that if you can not work your CHOSEN shift that you call the office number and tell them so. Please read that sentence again these fucktards get to CHOOSE their schedule, work from home, and they are independent contractors so we never tell them they can’t have time off. All they need to do is just let us know. It sounds pretty simple doesn’t it? This is a cake job for any competent person. But guess what. most people are not competent. So back to Amanada. She had some trouble with this whole calling off thingie. It confused her, and often. She barely ever showed up for her Sunday work shift. She was always late to her shift, left early, and to call her scatterbrained is a compliment. You get the point right? Let me also not forget to mention that she would contact the office receptionists to tell them she "had to take her dog outside to make a peepee". That’s a direct quote. Everyone pretty much wanted to see me put a bullet in her head, and I did consider it a few times. I was a good manager though, and just told her to get her shit together. Finally it was obvious she couldn’t do that, so I told her that I was terminating her contract.. which in plain English means "fuck off fuck face". That was about 2 months but today she messaged me online.

She said: Fucktard [10:45 A.M.]: Hi Vulgar, this is Amanda, not sure if you remember me, but I was wondering. I have been trying to find work as a receptionist and thought you might have a better idea as to where to look. I have had no luck. I do have experience. Thanks for your time

I think we all know that what she was really saying is that she wants a job back with us but wants the "better" position that pays hourly rather than the one that pays per consultation. I have my quota of fucktards in that position already. If I’m wrong about her intention, then somebody explain to me why would you ask the manager that FIRED you – to HELP you find a job with a competitors company? Doesn’t it sound like she asked me to do that – or it was her fucktard way to think I would offer her something? Go to hell Amanda and you’re little dog too. I should have suggested a job as a crash test dummy to her but I suspect she’d even fuck that up.

Fucktard Update! Since I wrote this post the moron emailed me the next day (8/11/06) and directly asked for a receptionist job. Now, I ask you… why would I offer you a better position with better pay if you couldn’t even do the lesser job decently? She again said she is "trying" to find one but doesn’t KNOW where to look! I guess she isn’t trying all THAT hard if she can’t find out where to look. It’s not even a logical comment duh duh duh.

Another Fucktard day at work

Ok, I am surrounded daily by fucktards. I try to be patient, but they always manage to fuck up my day with their fucktard ways.

Why is it so hard to follow simple rules? If you can’t work, call someone and tell them you will be out for the day. Not fucktards, they have to use a method that no one else uses and then act like you are the asswipe that did something wrong. They finally get online to contact you 2 hours after they should have been signed on and then use illegible fonts. You tell them that their message is hard to decipher because of the fonts and then they change the color only. Of course, this goes on for about 5 minutes until I just say, just tell me the excuse and I will try to figure out what the message says. After the lame excuse, she then tells me she is an elementary school teacher. God help these kids.

A Ray of Sunshine

I work with two major fucktards, the kind that aren’t only stupid but have bad attitudes toward everyone else more intelligent then them (which is basically everyone). So today Miss Sunshine (the bigger fuck up) loses her phone connection. We’re IN a business where we ANSWER phones, it was kinda important to have hers working, and this isn’t the first time it’s happened. It’s not even the 98^th time it’s happened, we’re talking triple digits. So, ok fucktard: again: I’ll do your damn job for you, but don’t think I won’t TRY to get revenge by making sure you aren’t paid. And she does think she will get paid, she feels entitled to it and that every damn mistake she makes is perfectly ok. But don’t dare tell her so, or she gets all sweaty angry and begin to flap her slack jawed mouth back at you. It’s hard to even fight back when you can’t understand Fucktardian language, you spend a lot of time scratching your head wondering what the hell she means. Sometimes two or three people have to decipher it and by then she’s long gone: if she isn’t wearing her government issued ankle bracelet and on house arrest or something.

So back to today’s drama. Miss Sunshine took about 40 minutes to figure out that her phone wire was bent, twisted, and destroyed. Most of us know that when the phone isn’t ringing that there can only be a few reasons why. But she did thank me for doing her job for her, at last minute notice when I had other shit to do of my own. How nice of her.

Then I had to talk to her about why she had issues with the other receptionist. Since fucktards always come out of la-la land with their fists up….it can be a bit dangerous to approach one. Carefully I brought up the subject. Quick! Tell her she isn’t in trouble before the stupidity and blame begins to flow! Ok so it all boils down to the fact that Miss Sunshine feels like everyone should be friends and ask her how her life is. She feels all we talk to each other about is work and that no one asks how her snot faced kid is. I guess the point is lost to her, which is after you are late a million times, cause trouble, mouth off to everyone, and fuck up constantly most people you work with kinda don’t care about you. Gee maybe they even begin to dislike you, duh. Good one fucktard, all we care about is avoiding you.

If she could collect disability for her stupidity she wouldn’t have to work at all and we’d all be much happier.